Something that I found in the Chatterbox.
I thought these were pretty amusing.
XD
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Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming
from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house
and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich
and left it on the kitchen table
and when I came back from the bathroom,
someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before
and I'm sick and tired of it
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Hi, is this the Police?
Dispatcher: This is 9-1-1. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don't know who to call.
Can you tell me how to cook a turkey?
I've never cooked one before.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?
Caller: Fire, I guess.
Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
Caller: I was wondering...
does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?
Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to
put these chains on my
tires and... well..
do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine-eleven
but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine-eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only
two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
And the winner...
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing.
I'm all out of breath.
Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Damn......
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way.
Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started
having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
