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[ diary of a mad hobbit ]
Some Fun Quotes


Yep.
We have another open house today,
if I remember right.
It's starting to get annoying... but, oh well.

I'll just hang around and play with my profile.
I need to change the Weeklies, anyway.
Assuming Gaia will let me change them, of course...

Which... it's not.

>_<

Well, anyway. The quotes!!
These are all "author unknown".
At least, they were on the site I found them on.
Maybe I can find the people who made these up eventually.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.


The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread
and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.


Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

No one is listening until you fart.

If you wonder where your child left his roller skates,
try walking around the house in the dark.


A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist.

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.

Eagles may soar in the clouds,
but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.


The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.

The chicken came first -
God would look silly sitting on an egg.


The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.


Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them,
you're a mile way and you have their shoes.


A signature always reveals a man's character -
and sometimes even his name.


Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.

She was what we used to call a suicide blond -
dyed by her own hand.


If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

It's always darkest before the dawn.
So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it.


This Halloween the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask.
And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.





Ophrysia
Community Member
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