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"What i have is not what i want... and what i want is somthing i can't have." he thinks as he walks towards a lake. "It sucks to realize that sombody out there has somthing better than you... and whoever it is has earned it." he pauses and kicks a pebble. "And what i have, i havn't really earned. Nor is it within reach. It's only somthing i can look at an appreciate from my bed and wish i could hold it, but then realize that it's unlikely that you even have it at all." he gets to the lake and looks over at his reflection, looking past it, like it was his worst enemy. "I wish so hard over and over again for it to be real, even though i know it wont... but, im just a person, clinging to his dreams and illusions like a kid does to a stuffed toy. And like that kid, i've had that same dream and for so long, it's starting to fade and be uninteresting." he sighs and sits down on a bench and sighs "Even if it is all an illusion, it's one i'd love to keep."