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A book with no title.


VaughnTophat
Community Member
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7 comments
Ok heres part two of chapter one. Its just been tacked onto part one of course. More comments will be apreciated. Note: This section is very "Odd" And seems a bit off the typical story telling style I've been using. Scene play is a bit more akward. But I still think it came out ok.



When they first arrived at the house Kint was quite amazed. He spent most of his time outside, and when he rarely was in a house it was shabby. The walls were painted and the floors carpeted, which was something he was not used to. He barley had time to put his sword down before she started giving him directions. “Hey, I’m going to run up stairs real quick and change out of this dress. Why don’t you sit at the kitchen table and I’ll make us something when I get back down.”
He didn’t question her considering free food was on the line. After lying his equipment down he did as she said and sat there.
The table wasn’t very decorated, just a plain table. Besides the placemats, which were decorated with a sort of ‘grape and vine’ style.
After quite a bit of time she finally came back down wearing a black shirt and some blue jeans. Which in Kint’s eyes did a lot for her ‘curves’.
“What do you want to eat?”
She questioned. “What will you feed me?”
He replied in a rather sarcastic tone. “Fine then if you want to be smart about then I will give you no choice.”
“Works for me”
He griped looking away from her. He then yawned and put his head down. “Speaking of which, you mind telling me why exactly you were sleeping in the middle of an open field?”
“You mind telling me why it matters you?”
He snapped back at her. “Well since I am feeding you. . .“
She declared with a smug look on her face. “Fine. I don’t exactly have anywhere to live.”
He sighed and continued. “I’ve lost some one important to me. . But she’s not dead, I will find her. Until then, my only home is open fields.”
He finished talking and after another long sigh put his head back down. “Oh…” She said realizing that she had asked the wrong question...
After a long and rather awkward silence she once again spoke up. “Anyway my name is Tessa, can I ask you yours?”
“It’s Kint.”

Late that night Kint laid in the bed that she had offered to him for the night. Sleep was not coming easy to him despite how tired he was. To much was on his mind. He thought about things, such as people, his current situation, and what his next move was possibly going to be. He had no Idea where to even think about starting to look for her. Not only that but he was sleeping in some strangers house. “How in the hell did I end up in this situation!?”
He thought. ”Damned food getting to me again, why do I never turn down free food??? It keeps screwing me over.”
He rolled over and buried his face in the pillow trying desperately to sleep.
His plan this time: suffocation until pass out. In the end physical desire over took and he rolled over and took a breath.
His thoughts started up again, where to find her, when to leave, what to do next, how to do it. He couldn’t get any peace. At this point he was fed up with trying to sleep so he got up and went down stairs for water.
Not half way through his glass he noticed Tessa in the room. She was just standing there in a over-sized shirt, watching him. At a certain point it became scary for him. “What exactly are you doing? Why are you just standing there? Is there something the matter, am I not allowed to get a drink?”
After a long period of silence she spoke. “I couldn’t sleep, I knew you were in the house. I came down to try and clear my mind. When I saw you I was shocked, and for some reason I had no desire to do anything besides watch.”
After saying that she looked down, and almost began to cry. ”I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to frighten you”
She started crying and at this point Kint realized that she was either out of it because of the late time, or completely insane. He put his glass down and escorted her back to her bed. “Don’t worry, you didn’t bother me at all, I was just curious is all.”
He said reassuringly. “Now just go to sleep, it’s too late to be up. I’ll be off to bed soon to.”
With a little nod and a smile she rolled over and went to sleep. . . “That was really weird
Kint thought before returning to his own room.
This time sleep came easy. That whole ordeal had distracted him from his troubles, the only thing on his mind at the time he fell to sleep was: “What’s her problem?





User Comments: [7]
Kira-Kan
Community Member





Sat Aug 12, 2006 @ 05:41pm


This story conforts me. In a way. I can relate to it. -winks- Well done! ^^


Crxzy
Community Member





Sat Aug 12, 2006 @ 08:19pm


I like it so far. xD Yay for Kint being fed~


Earth Elf
Community Member





Sun Aug 13, 2006 @ 09:36am


Not enough gore. >>;

But seriously, the first dialog part was a bit hard to follow. It would be easier to follow if it went like this:

“You mind telling me why it matters you?” He snapped back at her.
“Well since I am feeding you. . .“ She declared with a smug look on her face.
“Fine. I don’t exactly have anywhere to live.” He sighed and continued. “I’ve lost some one important to me. . But she’s not dead, I will find her. Until then, my only home is open fields.” He finished talking and after another long sigh put his head back down.

It's just the placement of things, really.
I gave you helpful criticism. n_n


vnel
Community Member





Sun Aug 13, 2006 @ 10:16am


Love it ^-^.....tis like Inuyasha now. Looking forward to the next one ^-^.


Buttonsmasher
Community Member





Wed Aug 16, 2006 @ 05:55am


koolness, keep writing! xd


Tesunie
Community Member





Fri Sep 01, 2006 @ 09:11pm


I like the details, but in the first part I think you might have had too many. Details are good, but they can distract you from the main part of the story.

Great job though, and my above comment is only a caution, not a disproval. You are doing great. I take it you plan on reveiling the characters histories as the story progresses, unless I missed a page. This is only page two, right?


X_A Beautiful Disgrace_X
Community Member





Tue Aug 07, 2007 @ 04:29pm


I can always tell that its you writing becuase you have very wise words to choose, your poems and stories get my hooked ^_^ heart


User Comments: [7]
 
 
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