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Today, I only checked my e-mail eight times compared to fifteen. It's good, I suppose, though in all honesty I'll never ever stop loving her; I never let things go. I especially hate to be told to 'get over it', omg, never say that to me. However, I do feel her slipping away further and further like she is building a wall. But I haven't made any attempts to contact her today, I'm starting to keep count. This is going to be an extremely long, tedious process. I'm a creepy x ... I have major mental issues. I need to start at my poetry again, but in truth I haven't because I have no one to share it with. You know, I am going to have relapses occasionally, those are usually the worse. You know what I really need to do? I need to rebuild my world of fantasy all around me and then I'm so blinded by it I don't care about reality, I go into a sort of autopilot reality. Sometimes my dreams are so vivid I get them confused with reality and I don't know what is real or fantasy ... Ha, I think I'm starting to be too opened on here. Such is life. Anyways, only checking my e-mail eight times equals, good.

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