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And everyone who thinks otherwise will have their a** kicked. Not really. I just feel threatening. You know, PMS and all that crap.

This is the entry in which Alex will tell you about best friends.

I have a few best friends. Only a few. I hate people who say they're my best friend. Bull s**t. I will say who even my friends are, and if i don't like you, you can kiss my a**.

My best friends are Krystina and Rob. I don't get to hang out with them, I don't talk on the phone, or IM, or really anything at all with them because I am retarded. And partly cuz I suffer from an abnormally long pissed-off life. Anyway, they are my life and part of my happiness and I have no idea what I would do without them.

Yes I always feel terrible when they call me up and I can't hang out. (Like the last 5 times in a row. A fly just flew at my face. Is that my punishment?) Whenever I do hang out with them, I always have fun even though I'm the abnormally quiet one. And the one who's less silly and crap. It's kinda like the whole "What do I say to not sound stupid?" sorta thing that keeps me quiet.

I've lost so many friends its like a fracture in my heart. So many have moved away and others just refused to talk to me because well...I'm different. Not too many people know I'm bi. And some of those 'friends' ditched me because I'm bi. Maybe thats another reason why I'm quiet around everyone. Maybe I don't trust enough. Maybe I'm too afraid to lose another person in my life.

More about me:

I used to think of suicide everytime my parents screamed at me and called me a b***h or whore. I don't anymore. Now I think of just all the things that are positive and shoot stuffed animals with my airsoft gun. Or myself. Cuz the slight pain gets me back in reality.

No, I don't cut. I hate blood, and I hate the mess. I made the mistake of cutting once, and its something I will regret forever.

I am an amazing arachnephobic. Even the tiniest spider I see will cause me to break down crying in fear. Its the way I am, don't laugh. I'm amazingly scared of needles. I'm not ashamed to admit that I will cry before, during, and after the needle comes in contact with my skin. I get claustrophobic (mispelled?) sometimes, mainly on a crowded bus. Real blood (not movie stuff) is an issue with me, it'll randomly sicken/scare me for no reason. I've always been afraid of being happy yet somehow I keep a small smile on my face. How is that?

I love humor. And movies.

And thats it for now.