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Sleep alludes me. My mind doesn’t stop. It can’t stop. It keeps going and going, switching to one thought to another. Each one is dark and depressing. I try to focus on something else, to the sound of my clock ticking but no, something else caught my attention. My heart pounds so loud and fast, the fear spikes within me suddenly. Why am I afraid? Why….why can’t I breathe?
The air is heavy and thick. I’m panting, I need more air. I take a deep breath and I choke. I can’t breathe! Then it’s gone. The cause for my choking swallow whole. I’m relieve but scared. Why, why can’t I sleep? I just want to sleep.
So tired, so very tired. The feeling is still there. The air is tainted with it, it’s lusting. It’s waiting and watching. Even when the light of dawn starts to peak in. I feel heavy. I feel pressure on me. Something grips tightly to my heart, squeezing. I can’t breath again. My heart slows, becomes quite. Am I dying? Heavy, tight…I can’t move. I see nothing above me. I feel nothing. I’m becoming weaker, feel myself fading.
I’m tired. I want to sleep. Why can’t I sleep? Why? Wait…I feel something. Emptiness. Hunger. I’m so hungry and yet I’m not. Stomach aches. I can’t eat now. I want to sleep. I feel so sick now. So tired. So hard to breathe. The light outside is stronger, brighter. No. No. No. Let it be dark still. Please. I want to sleep. No. No. I want to stay here. In the dark, where it’s quite, warm…and safe? I don’t want to get up. I won’t admit defeat. I want to sleep. I will sleep. I must. I need to.
So tired. So weak. So heavy. All I want is to sleep. Why, why can’t I?
 DamnBlackHeart · Sun Nov 11, 2012 @ 08:24pm · 0 Comments |
