Here I can be anything or anyone I want. I can express myself without fear of being shut down. I can say how I really feel.
In reality, I feel like I cannot be myself. I feel like there's all this pressure to conform to society's view of who I should be, to be who my parents want me to be, to be who my friends want me to be. I choose my words carefully for fear of judgement, fear of being shut down, or be told that I am wrong and really have no clue.
I don't say how I feel because I don't want to start conflict, for fear again; fear or rejection, fear of being, hurt and the fear of being alone.
Yet I cannot live in a fantasy world forever, I have responsibilities and a life to live and somehow, in some way; reality always comes crashing down around me, usually when I least expect. sometimes I feel like I'm living two lives, my fantasy life here and my life in the real world.
Which life is my own? It can be hard to tell. Sometimes everything here seems and feels so real and sometimes reality feels like I'm in a bizarre dream.
Reality can be cruel yet living out a fantasy life forever is unhealthy. To create a perfect world, a perfect place can only work for so long before I remember reality; remember who I am and what my life is really like and then that realism taints my fantasy world.
Reality or fantasy? Fantasy or reality? Neither of them ever feel 100% real....
Aura Wintergreen Community Member 
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