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(( The writing is unbearably sloppy.))

It's loud.

"At least YOU knew that he was dead."

Whatthehell

whatdoessheknowaboutthatincident

sheknowsNOTHING

nothingaboutmenothhhhhhhing

whyamIwaiting?

Fight with Rika
She thinks I don't understand
I suddenly now know why I was angry when I saw her sad

We're all still around her,
And she's drowning

I reach into the water, trying to help her, reassuring her I'll still be there waiting
"At least YOU knew he was dead"

What, does she think my situation was better?
I'd rather have had Ray gone missing
At least Rika gets ******** hope

She goes to the forest to replay memories
idiot

SHE DOESN'T KNOW A ******** THING
SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE YOUR BEST FRIEND GET STRUCK DOWN
HOW IT FEELS TO HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO BREATH OF HOPE

(tears begin to blur the page, almost completely.)

BECAUSE HE'S STARING AT YOU WITH THOSE LIFELESS, SHOCKED EYES
LOOMING ABOVE YOU, TRYING TO PROTECT YOU,
A HUGE ******** GASH IN HIS BACK
AND LOOKING AT YOU WITH SO MUCH LOSS
SMILING AS IF IT'S ALL HIS FAULT

I'M SO SICK OF THIS
SO ******** SICK OF EVERYONE
SHOVING THEIR WAY IN, ACTING LIKE THEY COULD HAVE THE SLIGHTEST CLUE WHAT GOES ON IN MY HEAD
ACTING LIKE I'M ACTUALLY LUCKY

THERE IS NOTHING ******** LUCKY ABOUT LOSING YOUR BEST FRIEND
THE GUY YOU TRUSTED WITH YOUR LIFE, THE ONE YOU THOUGHT WOULD NEVER LEAVE
THE ONE WHO CARED, PUSHED ME WITHOUT FORCING TOO HARD
The one who promised that he would never leave you

replay replay replay replay replay replay

Never-ever pinky promise
Think about you no matter what

and she stares without any ******** emotion
acting as if i'm luckier than her
what, does she want to see Gio die before her eyes
I'll gladly switch situations

and she has so much potential for hope
yet she never uses it
always too stuck in the thoughts of her dad or her fiance or her mother
as if she's the only one
as if she doesn't have people willing to save her

she has all of these people
and they all care
they'd all come after her, reassure her that she won't be alone, that there is someone to lean on for her
yet she's pushing them all away

all that hope
all those friends
all those friendly smiles and worried looks
just for him

(and we all miss him like hell too, yeah)

maybe i'm just jealous
i don't know anymore
i snapped at Al
i feel no remorse

but it's so hard to stand waiting with a splint, you know
even harder when they're pushing you away
you want to drown in your miseries?

fine, i'll be leaving soon enough