Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

~Either way I'm still depress on the inside yet i act very happy as if i werent the same.~

Unforgettable Smile

In the curve grass hill
I lay down near the hard tree
cover with those pink flowers that removes its petals so easily
The wind picks up and shifts to another place
Where I wouldn’t see them forever.
I look up the sky and see image clouds.
I name them as I could remember.
The good clouds and the bad clouds.
They are nothing to me.
I close my “closed eyes” and let my mind become empty.
Have something or someone take over my mind
But cant control myself.
Nothing to do
But to let go of these pure water in my “closed eyes”
And tried not to hold my smile.
They all don’t like me.
They all don’t like who I am.
They all used me like I’m their “favorite toy”
That smile….Why is that still smiling?
What wrong with that person?
Because I don’t know why.
Fake…real…..hiding…joy…happy
I don’t know why
I’m still smiling


Tears To the Ground

I cry as my heart cry.
I tried to be strong and be brave
But the tears took over my body.
No way I’ll be okay until its done
Days killed my heart.
Songs effect my feelings.
Some people ruin my sight right before my eyes.
Somehow, I cant describe my problems.
Tears is too much for me to say it
My voice becomes quiet.
I collapse to the ground
And be nothing

Words that cant descibe * Has no idea if this is a poem because it look like an expressing journal*

I tried to put words that flows like a wave
but end up dissapper.
I tried to write a letter that makes a meaning
but end up a rough draft.
I tried to look up that fits my feelings
but end up nothing.
If i tried to tell you how am i doing right now, would you understand me?
If i tried to tell you my true feelings, would you accept me?
If i tried to tell you my future, would you share yours?
If i wanted to tell you all the things happen right now, would you listen?
Words that want me to say it, would you trust it?
if only words that makes a good combination, it would have one true meaning of my heart.
Those words i said, it felt like i wouldnt understand myself too.
Nor i wouldnt be honest with myself.
It just making a excuse so you wouldnt see my unhappy smile and silent tears.
So tell me, what it is on your mind that words has a meaning?