Current Happenings:
Mood- Sad
Drawing- The Study Session Picture
Manuscript- None
Writing- Pointless Poems
Reading- Chicken Soup for the Cat Lover's Soul
Homework- ALOT OF THINGS
Music- Sara Paxton- Connected
Current Favorite Song to Play on the Piano- I hate that thing!
Other- I'm having a mental breakdown...
Sometimes I wonder...
Why do I work so hard and usually get nothing in the end? Like how making AMVs isn't any fun anymore...because nobody watches them anyways. Or like...HOW I COULDN'T FIND A SCANNER IN TIME.
I'm fine most of the time...or appear fine...but every 20 minutes or so I break down and start crying. Then I stop and the whole process starts again. I'm trying to cheer myself up. I worked so hard for an art contest I didn't even get to enter in anyways. gonk I worked so hard!! I really did!
SakuMeiMei does extremely bad in art contests...
But what I'm truly pissed off at is that I worked so hard for it and I didn't even get to enter. I wouldn't mind half as much if I entered and lost. Atleast I know I got a chance...so now if I find that the new design for Lucy is really ugly I will for surely HUNT DOWN whoever won the art contest and personally BEAT THE SHIAT out of them.
scream
You must be thinking I'm being inconsiderate...yeah well...I want to right now. I've been stressed out...too much...I've reached my limit. I'm going to snap. I have a problem with snapping. I don't. So, seriously...let me be inconsiderate to all but myself. But I won't quit. Don't worry. SakuMeiMei's too stubborn for that.
For once in my life I want to truly win. I haven't ever truly won something. Never. So I'm always looking for something I could win. But I'm not this freak who's obsessed with winning...that's just...not SakuMeiMei. If I lose I smile and try again.
Most of the time...
On Friday, I cried. (Not in front of everybody else, thank God.) I've totally lost it. So many projects...so many stupid things...annoying friends...yep. Sometimes I wonder do I truly like any of my friends? (I bet you're starting to think I'm a freakin suck-up who isn't supposed to have any friends...)
It's more like nobody understands me. Most people, when they see me drawing they're like..."That's so cool!" or "That's really good." or something. And one person even says "That's insane." sweatdrop I'm not that great...
I seriously don't mind if you say, "It's not that great." or "I don't think it's all that good." I'm not going to rip off your head. I like the criticism. If I have all of these good comments I don't know where to improve. neutral If I don't improve I'll never meet Arina! So please criticize me!! But don't take this as an invitation to insult me...there's a difference you know.
I have so much homework. gonk There's:
- A Pasta Bridge
- A Book Report
- A Japan House Project
- A Math Booklet
All of them are due the week I get back from Spring Break. gonk And I've barely started and my friends aren't really any help. They have parts in the projects too! sweatdrop I don't really know what I'm saying...
SakuMeiMei Community Member 
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