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As I am away, I feel nothing, not the least bit of fear, nor paranoia....
The day it all started: Friday, March 25, 2011
4-28-11: I think I've just been tearing myself apart lately. Too many issues, school, stupid things... Am I letting the internet get in the way...? Do I even know anymore?
4-29-11: Things are getting worse on me... Even school... I have a project on volcanoes and I didn't start ANY of it... Not even the written part... Why are projects such a pain.... I'm starting to hate more as this week is going by....
4-30-11: I see these days go by so fast, it makes my heart skip beats thinking about this... But I really can't help it... After last night, I've seen that this is just like another Scenario I've played in during winter... This event was from August and lasting throughout about February.... At least that's what I think....I can't believe what I've gotten myself into....
Prediction of the next day: Pure pandemonium.... Nothing can control the fear that will dwell inside me, for the time is shortened and the days will fly by like they're nothing...
5-1-11: The day has just begun and is turning out for the worst... Refusal and Stubbornness are just some things I wish weren't real now.... These days are crawling beneath me, so fast, I only have few hours to work.... Which as it is going now, no results will be made.... The first few words in the song "Lucent Wish" by EastNewSound are what it's like.... Later on today we went looking at houses.... The ones with a type of stream I was fond of, they made me forget what was really happening and gave me pleasant thoughts of what it would be like if all this were to come true.... Prediction of tomorrow: Not much time left, have to make it all count for something.... Otherwise everything went into nothing...
Other things...: Have I really been doing this for nothing... Stressing out over nothing... I'm getting more sickened as I'm talking to these people....
5-2-11: Though the weekend was tough, I've pulled through the school day only complaining to about 2 people. Is there still hope? I may never know if there is, or will be...
5-3-11: I've been becoming more happy, if I must say. This problem hasn't had any affect on my life since I stopped caring... Maybe it's better I do just care about myself anymore, I'll get too caught up in others' problems if not
5-4-11: Wow, Anniversary, and other stuff today.... Yeah... Let's just say Jealousy and end this... Hah, I laugh at my stupidity sometimes... I'm getting quite used to putting things in here, makes me feel calm... And whoever reads this, how much do you trust me? Be honest too ._.''' (Leave it in the comments if you want, put the date too [5-4-11])
5-5-11: (Most likely the last one) No clue what to right for today.... I'll say something completely irrelevant I guess... Graphite is my new enemy .-.,,, All I had to do was hold it and BOOM it got my hands all graphitey .-.,,, Still didn't think of anything.... Oh yeah, not going to be on basically until Monday, I'm going on a Band Trip to somewhere.... Somewhere a select one/few know... God I have a terrible memory = 3=''' Right when something happens, I forget.... Like this entire day... And when I'm nervous I forget what to say and I can't make up any comebacks to get what I want... Makes me uncomfortable? I guess so.... Well anyway, I hope you enjoyed everything in this week long Journal entry thingy.... Until next time... The day I gave up: Sunday, May 1, 2011
But as I am with you, my heart beats fast and the rhythm pulsates to my brain... It worries me until I leave once more....
In the end, I'm starting to think there really wasn't anything to worry about, it was all a facade put together by a mastermind to get pity... Will I ever know what this is? Of course not...
I feel I've been growing apart from you, slowly but surely... May we ever connect? May we always be friends? No one knows the answer to every question, not even if it is obvious to you... Let them feel free to find the answer that lies somewhere between Here and There....
Yours Truly,
Fujiwa Enoki
 Fujiwa Enoki · Fri Apr 29, 2011 @ 01:21am · 0 Comments |
