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crying I finally found out the prettiness' name, crying you think I would be happy, I am so sad. I didn't want to realize him as a person, but as an figure, its hard to explain but ~ its like a girl idolizing a....hm...whats a good word- uh...doll? oh well yes a doll, he is not to live but to only be loved... afar, I just realized that I really didn't love. when I said it in health
then it struck me, I feel so bad, also I think hes avoiding me now, I used to see him in the halls and now- its like hes avoiding me, I think he thinks I'm a stalker. crying I'm not~ if I was, that would mean, I acknowledged him as a person. crying crying I feel so bad

IN OTHER NEWS:
I have to go to a spiritual retreat today, crying with my mom! damn it all, I hate this, I didn't even want a quincera crying crying crying