- Why sure, i've just got to make another depressing topic while i'm in the mood for it. surprised Who would I be -not- to expose all my dirty experiences and memories from the admiring masses of nobody!
As of February 02 of this year, my dad's been dead for a full year.
You know, I say it now, and I still don't quite believe it. I keep expecting him to barge through the door and say something with the wrong pronunciation again...
(five minutes later)
And, I know it's stupid and naive of me to even think it, but I can't help but wonder... why? Why did he have to go? Why did it have to happen? I really do hate that saying, now. "You never know how much you love something until it's gone", I think it goes? Something like that. I hate it... but it's true. I really didn't realize how much I loved my dad until... he's gone.
He was the -only- member of this family I loved. Including myself. I realize now how much harder every. single. thing, is. And a voice in my head just screams, "It's not ******** fair!" And sometimes when I sit, and it's very quiet and calm, I get sickended of myself. Thinking, -I don't diserve to be here when someone as great as my dad is gone-. It's not just.
But that's not my reason for making this topic...
I am just wondering, when is it suppose to stop hurting like this? Shouldn't the sadness die down over time? It was two days ago that I cried again like a little sissy girl because I miss my dad.
And the thing is, everybody else in my family has already, apparently moved on. They moved on less than a month after the fact... which is disgusting.
And I get the impression that that's -normal-? So, what's wrong with me? Why can't I accept it. Or let it go. Or whatever the ******** will make it easier?
Is society itself just too... heartless? Or am I too sensitive?
