I was going to post this last week, but Gaia was updating the journals and they wouldn't let you post anything all week until Friday, and See It or Skip It is ALWAYS posted on Monday. Not sure why, it just is.
Okay, so now to business. There are some amazingly talented directors, and then there are some who really just suck at making films. Don Bluth is the latter.
Whether or not you've heard of him, you have seen him movies before. He's directed The Secret of NIHM, All Dogs Go to Heaven, Thumbelina, Anastasia, and many others. No doubt you saw these when you were little and loved them. I know I did. Well, after re-watching them, I've realized just how TERRIBLE these movies are. 9 times out of 10, the main characters are, for lack of a better word, losers. And they rarely have a plot worth remembering. You can imagine that the best thing about them is the many LULz we get when making fun of them. So that's what I'll be doing for the rest of the entry.
(And please remember, I do this out of fun. If you like these movies, don't take it as an insult. Enjoy your movies and watch them to your heart's content.)
Let's get the party started, shall we? I present week 11 of See It or Skip It,
Don Bluth Films
The Secret of NIHM (1982)Technically, this isn't a terrible film. But parts of it just didn't make sense, and it was very different from the book. Sometimes different is good, but in this case it was just unneeded. It was just fine without all this weird magic crap. (I've never read the book, I got my info from an equally dissatisfied YouTuber) Plus, I felt they didn't explain it very well at all, so the first time I watched it I thought, "huh?" The one upside of this film was that the bad guy was a beast. I mean, just look at this:
One word: Ouch.
An American Tail (1986)I just didn't enjoy it. The songs were really crappy, barring Somewhere Out There of course, and the entire movie just felt really blah. It wasn't horrible or anything, but it wasn't enjoyable. Basically, it's Nazi occupation of Russia, except it's about cats and mice. That's fine, except it's really boring and the things that are supposed to be funny just aren't. Oh, and of course to make a film enjoyable, we have to have annoying side-characters, right? */sarcasm*
I was complaining about this movie to my mom, and she told me the sequel(which wasn't directed by Don Bluth) Feivel Goes West is a lot better. My dad later told me the same thing. I watched Feivel Goes West, and IT WAS WORST THAN THE FIRST ONE. That doesn't really have anything to do with this movie, I just felt I should point it out.
The Land Before Time (198 cool This is a really cute movie, and a few of the original sequels(which weren't directed by Don Bluth) were actually good too. My favorite is The Mysterious Island, but that's not what this review is about. So, moving on, The characters are actually not losers(except Petrie, but he's just one character) and the plot is sweet and actually not dumb. Basically, think of it as a non-boring Dinosaur. Take that, Disney.
All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)First of all, This is just WRONG. All dogs DO NOT go to heaven, because if the majority of them are murderers like they all are in this movie, they can't ALL go to heaven. It's just nonsensical. Anyway, Carface has an annoying voice, and Charlie is a total a*****e. He treats Itchy like crap and acts like that's perfectly acceptable behavior. Also, WTF is with the Big-Lipped Alligator? That is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in an animated movie! It just came out of nowhere as a convenient plot-device. Bleh. The ending is sweet, though, with the little girl in the bed saying, "I love you, Charlie." Aww. Other than that, a complete waste of time. Though, that being said, it's so much better than the sequel(not directed by Don Bluth). gonk
Rock-A-Doodle (1991)What. The. Heck. First of all, the main character has the MOST ANNOYING VOICE EVER, and the villain makes no sense. If you hate all sources of light so much, why in the world are you cooking in front of a fire? THAT EMITS LIGHT! Okay, moving on... The plot was just crappy. The only rooster who could stop the owl from blocking out the sun is a loser Elvis remake. His girlfriend who fell "in love" with him in two seconds is ANNOYING. Plus, she looks nothing like a bird. Just saying. The best part was that the Magpie was played by Mandark from Dexter's Lab, so that was awesome. Though, that magpie was a total loser, so maybe he wasn't that great... Anyway, it was almost one of the worst movies I've ever seen, though A Troll in Central Park sorta beat it in that category. Speaking of A Troll in Central Park...
A Troll in Central Park (1994)HOW AN A MOVIE BE THIS HORRIBLE?! The main character was a total loser, the little boy and girl were annoying, the bad guys were RETARDED... I mean, when the main villain's theme song is called "The Queen of Mean" and her entire purpose in life is to be mean and nasty to people, you know you have a loser villain. And when the main character spends the entire movie dancing around with singing flowers, you know he's a loser too. Basically, the movie is about Stanley, a troll who loves flowers but must hide them because other trolls HATE flowers. Then he gets banished to Central Park, and falls in love with a 2-year-old. Eww. Okay, so he doesn't fall in love with her, but they have this weird messed-up bond that just feels like ***** waiting to happen. Anyway, the pinnacle of loser-ness is when the villain, Gnorga, chases down the little kids on the OMG SCARIEST VEHICLE OF THEM ALL! Just kidding, she uses a tricycle. Instead of continuing to bash this movie, let's ask Stanley: Should people watch this movie?
Thumbelina (1994)Hmm, this took thought. I mean, it's a really dumb movie, but it's actually better and sorta enjoyable. Not to mention Thembelina is played by the same lady who plays Ariel in The Little Mermaid. So for once, the songs aren't all terrible! (oh, and there's a guest appearance by Frollo: he plays the bull in the opening song) Jacquimo is like the best character in the movie, 'cause he's not only hilarious, he's also heroic and the only person in the movie with any sense. I mean, at one point Thumbelina is crying about the Beetle(played by Iago the parrot) calling her ugly, and Jacquimo responds that because she doesn't love him, "Then forget about the beetle! Good riddance to the beetle!" See? Only one with sense. My biggest problem these days is the weather. Apparently the seasons in France are incredibly dramatic, and water freezes in four seconds. Thus, we get Prince-Popsicles.
Sorry, but I for some reason have always found this part of the movie to be HILAROUS.
The Pebble and the Penguin (1995)You know those movies that are so bad they're good? Yeah, that's what this movie is. It's completely retarded, and thus is incredibly hilarious. I didn't give it a thumbs-up because, well, it's just a dumb movie. I personally watch it all of the time when I'm sad or bored, and it instantly cheers me up. But the general populace doesn't watch dumb movies just because they're dumb. Anyway, the main character Hubie is a loser AND an a*****e, which you rarely see these days. I'd also think he was gay if he wasn't in love with a girl penguin. Besides, he seemed to be really close to Rocko, and they made such a better couple. So yeah, he should be gay. But what can you expect? It's the same actor who plays BEN from Treasure Planet.
You don't get much gayer than BEN. rofl Anyway, the villain is a loser, but he sings the best song in the film(that's saying something, because all of the songs are TERRIBLE). He's also played by Tim Curry, which gives him automatic awesomeness points. Now then, if you want to hear more about the movie(and you know you do) you should watch an incredibly hilarious review of the movie on Youtube. Here's Part 1 and Part 2.
Anastasia (1997)The very best Don Bluth film. And if you're wondering why it was so good, it's because it's a Disney clone. A history lesson: Because Don Bluth films were making so much money in the 80s, Disney decided to actually make some good movies to compete with Don Bluth. Thus, the Disney Renaissance began, and Disney started making amazing films. Don Bluth, in order to compete, made Anastasia, which was supposed to be just like a typical Disney movie so that audiences would like it. In fact, I actually thought this was Disney until about a year ago. I was SHOCKED when I found out it wasn't. Anyway, this movie is awesome, though rather iffy at parts. I love Dmitri, but I think Jim Hawkins is cooler and SO much better looking. Just saying. Though there are two major problems: Anya's hair constantly changes length, and her scarf never makes any tracks when it is dragged through the snow. Besides that, there are amazing songs, especially Once Upon a December and In the Dark of the Night(the singing voice of Rasputin is the guy who plays Ray in the Princess and the Frog). Anyway, an all-around good movie and a wonderful break from all of the crap Don Bluth has made before and after it.
Bartok the Magnificent (1999)For once, a sequel to a Don Bluth film that Don Bluth actually worked on! Well, actually it's a prequel, because there's a czar in this, and Anastasia takes place after the fall of the Romanov family, when there were no longer any czars. But whatever. It really wasn't worth bringing in the original director because this movie sucks just as much as all of the other sequels. The only difference is that this one has... acceptable songs. They don't suck, but there's something about them that's just... weird. For instance, the villain song, sung by Catherine O'Hara. That's the best song in the movie, and it's just... Hmm... inappropriate? Really, though, what really sucks about this movie are the boring and annoying trials Bartok has to complete in the middle of the film. And then there's some random dramatic scene for almost no reason. Anyway, this movie also has Tim Curry in it, this time as a giant skull. Yay. Other than that, it's not a very good movie.
Titan A.E. (2000)I read online that this movie was like Treasure Planet, and failed at box offices for the same reasons Treasure Planet did. Now, I love Treasure Planet, so I assumed I'd like Titan A.E. too. So I bought it online. (you can't find it anywhere else) And guess what? IT WAS TERRIBLE. But I was shocked because, holy moly, this movie WAS exactly like Treasure Planet! The only difference was the main character was a jerk and he wasn't gay for a robot. Nope, in this one, he falls in love with Drew Barrymore. Who even though hates him initially, falls in love with him also, for no reason. Oh, and Treasure Planet wasn't as boring. Plus it didn't have Timon in it. Actually, the one played by Nathan Lane(Timon from The Lion King) was the best part of the movie. I'm not saying he was a good character, but he was the best part of the movie. That, and the planet called Planet Bob. Anyway, has anyone ever wondered what Dmitri would look like as a teenager? The main character of Titan A.E., Cale, might give us a clue:
Whoa, I'm starting to see the resemblance between Dmitri, Cale, and Jim. It's really eerie....
My Final Thoughts
It seems that the basic Don Bluth film requires a small item the MC can't seem to keep a hold of, French people, French birds, Russia, Dom DeLuise, a guy who looks like Dmitri, and a boat or train ride. Because every single one of his movies seems to have one or more of the above.
Alright, so the vast majority of these films suck on every level. However, I can easily say that A Troll in Central Park is the worst movie I've ever seen, and that's saying something, because I've seen Ben 10: Race Against Time.
Anyway, my favorites were Anastasia, Thumbelina, and The Pebble and the Penguin. The worsts were All Dogs go to Heaven, Rock-A-Doodle, and A Troll in Central Park. If Ray saw these movies, he'd have one thing to say:
Community Member
I like land before time, but i havent seen any of the sequels in a long long time. I can only remember one song and its from like the 2nd or 3rd and its two aligaters singing about how much they hate eachother (i need you like a hole in the head, something like that)
An american tale is awesome ( crying your hating it makes me cry) I just got the soundtrack, but all in all i dont have much to say about it, i like the sequel alot better. I love listening to Tanya sing, the songs in the second movie are better, but few. Dreams to dream is the bestsss.
Did you know I own the pebble and the penguin? We once bought like 60 vhs tapes online and it was the one that sealed the deal, i just liked that it was about penguins. I didnt realize they were gonna be gay. Watched it once, and i think weve gotten rid of it now perhaps, or else its lost in the abyss.
Eeeeeeep anastasia is soooooooo good! All the songs are amazing and demitre is soooooooo hot (and better than jim!) im all warm and fuzzy thinking about this movie. Funny its in my vcr right now (I only keep a few movies in my room, things i like to watch alot- TLK2, a little princess, hercules) but yea
this is entirely random but this one time i left Aladdin in my vcr so i just watched it over and over instead of watching tv . . . good story i know