Yesterday I got home from school to hear that my Great Aunt Olive had passed away that morning. She had a heart attack which, in complication with diabetes, a worn-down immune system and many medications, was fatal.
The funeral is tomorrow and I will be attending after deliberation. Those I consulted basically said that if I'm seriously having such a hard time deciding whether to go or not, I really should go.
It's ironic, because I have a youth group retreat this weekend. Aside from my mad procrastination skillz, it's terribly ironic. Three years ago I went to another youth event (with many of the same people, at least in my grade) straight from my great-grandmother's funeral.
I didn't really start to get in touch with my religion until I was at camp for a different great-grandmother's yarzheit. It seems that in my mind and in my life religion and death are elaborately intertwined. It's actually kind of frustrating to think about.
I mean, you think of Judaism, and I bet that most people will picture old men and women talking in Yiddish and complaining about the state of the world. And arguing fiercely with each other too, while eating lunch at some deli. Or brunch--yay lox and bagels. With a whole heaping pile of cream cheese.
But that's beside the point. You picture old people. Then again, I have to wonder what religions you don't picture old people when you think of them. There's not too many. That could be because most people expect that when you reach that age, you know firmly and for a fact what religion you are. What kind of cememtary you'll be buried in. If you'll be buried. All that nonsense.
So, I'm a little out of it right now. With this on top of scholarships and procrastination guilt and a freaking literary magazine to put together (we still have 250 more works to read!?) this is an awkward time in my life. I'm trying to keep Gaia as a part of my life. If I let things slide at this time of year, I may never get back on Gaia. Seriously. It was about this time last year that I lost the last of my interest in DA as a community, and I had some firm friends there.
I refuse to let Gaia go. I will hang on by teeth and nails if necessary. I won't let my pets go un-RPed (omitting Galerus and Lemon at this point, sorry) for too long, even if there are days when I don't even turn my computer on.
Don't give up on me. I'm not going anywhere. I promise.
-mouselet
Chana Leah
Shut up. It's the closest you people will get to my real name.
mouselet Community Member 
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