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Sam: Burning the painting didn't get rid of it
Dean: Yeah, thank you Captain Obvious
Dean: (talking about his dad) You know I love the guy but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda
Bela: Do you really think this is going to work?
Dean: Almost definitely not.
Bela: So, how'd things go last night with Peter?
(Sam gives angry look)
Bela: That well, huh.
Dean: If you say "I told you so," I swear to God, I'll start swinging
Dean: (about Bela) You know what? I’m not going to kill her. I think slow torture’s the way to go
Dean: (to Sam) You stink like sex
(about Bela)
Dean: Can I shoot her?
Sam: Not in public
(red sky at morning)
Sam: I think it's Snow White
Dean: Snow White? Ah, I saw that movie. Oh, the porn version anyway.
To Sammy about his girly caffeine choice)
Dean: Your half-caf, double vanilla latte is getting cold over here, Francis.
Dean: We don't? Well, we should. You're my brother.
Sam: You're my brother.
Dean: Yeah!
Sam: You know, that's what you said when you snaked my ATM card, or when you bailed on my graduation, or when you hooked up with Rachel Nayv.
Dean: Who?
Sam: Uh, my prom date. On prom night.
Dean: *under his breath* Yeah, that does kinda sound like me.
Henricksen: You think you're funny?
Dean: I think I'm adorable.
Dean: Ya' know she could be faking.
Sam: Yeah, what do you wanna do, poke her with a stick?
Dean: *nods*
Sam: Dude, you're not gonna poke her with a stick?
Dean : You fudging touch me again, I'll fudging kill you!
(To the townspeople who are about to sacrifice him for their farm)
Dean: I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!
Dean: Come on man. I know Sam, OK? Better than anyone. He's got more of a conscience than I do. I mean the guy feels guilty searching the internet for porn.
Dean: I like him. He says okie dokie.
Sam : Kids are the best?
Dean : Yeah, I love kids.
Sam : Name three children that you even know.
Dean : (scratches head)
Sam : (walks away)
Dean : I'm thinking!
Sam: Dean, there's ten times as much lore about angels as there is about anything else we've ever hunted.
Dean: You know what, there's a ton of lore on unicorns too. In fact, I hear that they ride on silver moonbeams, and that they shoot rainbows out of their a**!
Sam: (looking heartbroken) Wait, there's no such thing as unicorns?
Dean: (Looks concerned for a moment, then catches on.) Cute.
Dean: Of course, the most troubling question is, why do these people assume we're gay.
Dean: The secretary's name is Carly. She's 23, she kayaks, and they're real.
Sam: You didn't happen to ask her if she's seen any black dogs lately, did you?
(Dean hands over a list.)
Dean: Every complaint called in this week about anything big, black or doglike. There's 19 calls in all. And, uh, I don't know what this is.
(He hands Sam a post-it note. Sam laughs.)
Sam: You mean Carly's MySpace address?
Dean: Yeah, MySpace, what the hell is that?
(Sam laughs.)
Dean: Seriously, is that like some sort of porn site?
Sam: So let me get this straight. You want to drive all the way to Cicero just to hook up with some random chick?
Dean: She was a yoga teacher. That was the bendiest weekend of my life!
Bela: You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.
Dean: (after thinking hard) Don't objectify me.
Dean: You saved my life.
Ruby: Don't mention it.
Dean: What was that stuff? God, it was a**. It tasted like a**.
Ruby: It's witchcraft, short bus. (she leaves)
Dean: (mutters) You're the short bus, short bus...
Sam: Dean, could you be a bigger geek about this?
Dean: I'm sorry, man, but what about a human-by-day, freak-animal-killing-machine-by-moonlight don't you understand? I mean werewolves are badass. We haven't seen one since we were kids.
Sam: Okay, Sparky, and you know what, after we kill it, we can go to Disneyland.
(to Dean after he asks for more quarters for the vibrating bed)
Sam: Dude, I'm not enabling your sick habit. You're like one of those lab rats that pushes the pleasure button instead of the food button until it dies.
Dean: I know what you're thinking: Why did it have to be clowns!
Sam: Gimme a break.
Dean: You didn't think I remembered, did you? Come on, man, you still bust out crying when you see Ronald McDonald on the television.
Sam: At least I'm not afraid of flying.
Dean: Planes crash!
Sam: And apparently clowns kill.
Dean: I hear you, OK? Yeah, I'm being an a** and I'm sorry. But right now we've got a freaking zombie running around and we need to figure out how to kill it.
(Sam starts laughing)
Dean: Right?
Sam: Our lives are weird, man.
Dean: You're telling me.
Sam: Do you think Dad was texting us?
Dean: He's given us co-ordinates before.
Sam: The man can barely work a toaster, Dean!
Castiel: (Into cell phone) This isn't funny Dean, the voice is telling me I'm almost out of minutes!
Dean: (On Castiel trying to find God) Try New Mexico, I hear he's on a tortilla.
Castiel: No, he's not on any flatbread.
Dead: (after discussing about trapping the Archangel Raphael)
Dean: Do we have any chance of surviving this?
Castiel: You do.
Dean: So, odds are you are a dead man tomorrow.
Castiel: Yes.
Dean: Wow. Well, last night on earth. What, uh, what are your plans?
Castiel: I just thought I'd sit here quietly.
Dean: Dude, come on. Anything? Booze? Women?
[Castiel looks away uncomfortable]
Dean: You have been with a women before? Right? Or an angel, at least?
[Castiel shifts nervously in his seat, embarrassed]
Dean: You mean to tell me you've never been up there doing a little cloud seating?
Castiel: I never had occasion, okay?
Dean: All right. Let me tell you something. There are two things that I know for certain. One. Bert and Ernie are gay. Two. You are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch. Let's go.
[Castiel looks around uncertain, gets up and follows]
Dean: So, find God yet? More importantly, can I have my damn necklace back, please?
Castiel: No, I haven't found him. That's why I'm here. I need your help.
Dean: With what? A god hunt? I'm not interested.
Castiel: It's not God. Someone else.
Dean: Who?
Castiel: It's an archangel. The one who killed me.
Dean: Excuse me?
Castiel: His name is Raphael.
Dean: You were wasted by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Angel?
Dean: We're here why?
Castiel: A deputy sheriff laid eyes on the archangel.
Dean: And he still has eyes? All right, what's the plan?
Castiel: [shrugs] We'll... tell the officer that he witnessed an Angel of the Lord, and the officer will tell us where the angel is.
Dean: You're serious? You're gonna walk in there and tell him the truth?
Castiel: [confused] Why not?
[Dean slips an FBI badge into Castiel's inside pocket, fusses with his shirt and tie]
Dean: Because... we're humans. And when humans want something, really really bad... we lie.
Castiel: [puzzled] Why?
Dean: Because... that's how you become president.
Dean: [about finding Raphael] You're serious about this. So what, I'm Thelma and you're Louise and we're just gonna hold hands and drive off this cliff together?
[pause while Castiel looks at him]
Dean: Look, gimme one good reason why I should do this.
Castiel: Because you're Michael's vessel, and no angel will dare harm you.
Dean: Oh, so I'm your bullet shield!
Castiel: I need your help, because you are the *only* one who'll help me. Please.
[Castiel looks at him pleadingly]
Dean: All right fine. Where is he?
Castiel: Maine. Let's go.
[reaches two fingers toward Dean's forehead]
Dean: [flinching back] Whoa whoa!
Castiel: What?
Dean: Last time you zapped me someplace, I didn't poop for a week! We're driving.
[Dean and Cas are in a brothel; Castiel looks very, very nervous]
Dean: Hey, relax.
Castiel: This is a den of iniquity. I should not be here.
Dean: Dude, you full-on rebelled against Heaven. Iniquity is one of the perks!
[a courtesan comes over]
Dean: Showtime.
Courtesan: [to Cas] Hi. What's your name?
[Castiel hesitates, looking more and more nervous]
Dean: Cas!
[Castiel jumps]
Castiel: My name's Cas. What's your name?
Courtesan: Chastity.
Dean: Chastity.
Courtesan: Mm-hm.
Dean: Wow.
[to Cas, grinning]
Dean: Is that kismet or what, buddy?
[Castiel takes a long pull of beer]
Dean: Well, he like you and you like him, so...
Courtesan: [taking Castiel's hand] C'mon baby.
Dean: [grabbing Castiel's elbow] Oh hey, listen.
[taking out a wad of bills]
Dean: Take this. If she asks for a credit card, no. Now just stick to the basics, okay? Do not order off the menu. Go get her, Tiger.
[Cas looks helplessly panicked]
Dean: Don't make me push you.
[Cas takes the money, follows the courtesan]
Castiel appears behind Dean; Dean sees him in the mirror and jumps]
Dean: God! Don't do that!
Castiel: Hello Dean.
[Dean turns around; Castiel stares at him from only inches away]
Dean: Cas, we've talked about this. Personal space?
Castiel: My apologies.
[he backs away]
 DamnBlackHeart · Tue Nov 24, 2009 @ 07:18pm · 0 Comments |
