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Well, I'm not sure if she'll read this but if she does then... Yay? I guess...? ._.
Ok, so my songs were written for a girl that I'm kind of in love with....
Except the Winter one. That was just random. xd
But any way....
We're kind of best friends and I think that's why she's so.... Distant when it comes to the affectionate part of the friendship.
I'm a lovey type of person by nature and even if I didn't like her like this I'd still be the same.
But she's more... Affectionate? With our other friends.
Everyone else....
Makes me sad a lot to watch, you know?
I know she doesn't mean it but still....
._.
When we first met and stuff and before I told her how I felt we would like cuddle and stuff 'cause that's just how I am.
But now...
There's no cuddles.
I miss those days.... ._.
I cuddle with everyone of my friends and she's the only one that I don't cuddle with.
Well, the only friend that's as close as she is anyway....
Everyone else I hug. We hug though.
I don't know...
Maybe it's my self conscience saying you know "Oh maybe she'll feel weird if I do that or maybe she won't like it or something" and then I stop...
Or maybe it is her.
Maybe it's both of us....?
I don't know.... ._.
Still makes me sad though....
I've almost cried several times throughout typing this, by the way. I'm just emotional like that. sweatdrop
I mean, there's some kind of love there, but I know it's not the kind that my heart wants. ._.
Or at least, I think I know...
Bottom line is, I just wanted to get this out since I don't usually talk about this subject. And since I'm braver when I'm typing... *heh*
Maybe she will read this...
Who knows.
I usually keep these things bottled up.
No one except 2 people know exactly how much pain I'm in about this subject.
But you know, I'd rather be in pain and wanting than be away and killing myself.
~ heart Nya
P.S.: If you're reading this, sorry if it made you uncomfortable... Or sad. Don't be, I hate it when you're sad. heart
 Hhymn · Tue Nov 03, 2009 @ 01:43am · 0 Comments |
