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I'm sorry our talks are so ******** stupid.
I'm wrong for thinking that i'm okay.
I know you hate the fact that i'm so useless.
Damnit i told you that i'd never change.
It's my fault that i cant talk anymore.
I know i have nothing left in me.
Why wait for something to never happen?
I know it'll stay the same.

I'm sorry for not screaming whats in me.
I know that you'd feel the same.
I wish that i could tell you all i'm thinking.
But i fear that i'll be judged when it comes.

To scream and shout the thoughts of,
mine is risky.
I'd word vomit all my feelings to the ground.
Being aware of all who is listening.
For the feeling that I bare.
To deep to share.

I think of all my random thoughts.
After you disconnect.
My talkative side is revitalized
a feeling not to far to forget.

In my defense i do regret
not letting my mind be-wild.
It punctures my every breath.
It stricken the cold untouched
soul.
To ******** up to try to mend.

I apologize for all that i never am.
I realize my fixations i have to apprehend.
You challenge me and talked down to me,
like the teacher who destroyed my only
friend.
You replaced me and took care of me.
I bowed down and gave amends.

You striked me, the broken me
and created your one and only friend.
You gave me the tools i need,
to be by your side in the vital hour.
You shaped me and made me,
to become your divinest flower.

Calling me your lover against it all.
True beauty as it all fall,
Raping the divinest of its clothing
making it a repulsing flower.

Moving on with the wind
to your next victim
swallowing them whole.
Giving her less processed
keeping full.

I stand and watch the obvious.
You playing with her mind.
You play with her and care
for her you penetrate my mind.
Haunting me with unpure thoughts.
Cunning into my own.

Bashing me and taunting me.
Flirting with my old obsessions.
Regretting all my hate, my rage.
Making me watch your burning eyes
licking finger tips.

You make me watch as you love her
for what she really is, I bang my head to glass.
Stabbing out my hateful eyes with shards.
Kitchen knives to my heart as you
blame me for what remains.

Hiding from all my shame.
I shutter from all the pain.
You put me though.
Nothing you feel but hate.
Hating me for what remains.
A body and a gun.

One was for fighting
and one was for
fun.