Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

-3 months later-

Things are a lot different here now. The whole town is heavily fortified, but nothing else has happened. The King simply chooses to ignore us.

I have told Sir Jacob that I would rather wait until my child is born to make any move. No one knows about my pregnancy but him--I try to stay away from anyone else as the signs start showing. We cannot risk the King being notified by some gossipers.

Princess Victoria wrote to me, alarmed at the circumstances I am in. I have assured her that I have everything under control, and commanded her to stay with my parents.

We have an operation being prepared to rescue Princess Momo and bring her here, so hopefully I can send her to join her sister, away from this trouble.

As for me, I feel so lighthearted. I think I have finally put my feelings for Edward behind me. I don't miss him at all. My other loss still grieves me, but I find that, surrounded by my old friends, and with the delightful new acquaintances of Sir Matthew and Sir Jacob, I can laugh freely once again. I even look myself, wearing the beautiful gowns my ladies-in-waiting have sewn for me. I only lack my crown and my royal jewels.

There was an amusing incident the other day.

Sir Matthew, I have found, is possibly the most amusing man I have ever met...besides my husband, I suppose. But he is never bawdy, like Sir Tyler. He can always make me smile.

I was shocked at first when one day, all my ladies, grinning, left the room as we were playing cards, pulling every man out with them but Matthew--and he, blushing furiously, soon ran after them. And then one of my ladies returned and told me he wanted to marry me!

However, I was shocked even more by how much I wanted to say yes. Maybe not a "yes" to marriage, but a yes to courtship. Was I already so healed that I could see another love in the future?

But I would not wildly follow my heart again. I told the lady that alas, I was still married...and tried my best to alleviate some of dear Matthew's embarrassment.

There are other nobles here, of course, that do not fancy themselves in love with me. I talk to them sometimes as well.

I just feel like my old self again, in a smaller palace. I am so happy.