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I am not a violent person. I am not a hateful person. Many people have told me that i am open and very understanding, some say even kind. My closest friends know though that i hate my father. I dont usually say hate,usually i just dislike someone. but the scars my father left on me and the tears ive cried over him.... i can never forgive him. Some say thats harsh, you should love your father.

He drinks. he stays out late at nite hen he has to work. his motto is stay sober for work and get as drunk as hell when i get home. at least, in my mind thats his motto. He behaves like a child, acting on impulse;jealousy. He likes to lock us out of the house.

Why am i writing this? a multitude of resons. I feel like im going to explode if i dont write this down. I want friends to realize im not like them, i cant be like them with my father in my life. and lastly, maybe i think of him because at one point all i wanted to do was be his favorite child. I wanted to be daddy's girl. That part of me has almost completely died, otherwise i would not be writing this.