Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

What's so wrong with the way that I am..? Why can't I be accepted for who I am, not what I look like..? I feel trapped, torn, and confused..I want her to love me, but I don't want to give up everything that I am just for her...But I'm afraid she won't like me anymore if I don't...What am I supposed to do..? On either side I lose something precious to me...Am I being selfish..? Am I just too attached to her..? I can't help being in love...but this is getting to be too much...I don't know how much longer I can take it..On one side I lose who I am, and on the other side I run the risk of losing the person I love and care about most in the world...What am I supposed to do..? Why should I have to change everything that I am just to be loved..? I'm not like that...I don't understand why looks have to be so important...Does she really love me..? Or does she only love me for what she wants me to be..? Why do opinions have to matter so much..? I don't wanna be normal...I like being the way I am right now..I wish she'd understand that..I love her, I really do..with all my heart...I wish she'd understand that even though it may not seem so complicated to her because she's been doing it her whole life, it is to me because this is who I am...It's hard to me..With all these questions new ones pop up as well..So many questions..So very confusing...Which path to follow..? What do I do? Why isn't there a way to keep her and be happy with the way that I look..? I don't understand...