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Forewarned - There are typos in this, because I am directly copying it off a piece of paper in front of me.
The twelve step ragin' drunk program.
Step one. Networking
Through various sources including myspace, phone, and "a friend heard that a friend heard that there was a party," decided what the best option for the night is. Priority is given to partys that are close, not in Eureka, have keg(s), is at a homeys house, and/or has a cool theme.
Step two. Preperation
In order to make the most out of the night, phone calls are made to round up the crew, a fat meal is eaten (about an hour before drinking), and of course, the booze and possibly an energy drink is purchased. At this point it is important to check the finances, and decided how much alcohol would be appropriate. Factors to what/how much booze include who you are drinking with, how much money you have, if you foresee womens drinking your booze, what these womens like, where you are partying and personal preference. More is usually better.
Step three. Pregame
No one wants to be the first one to a party, so a good game of Kings Kup or chattin' with the friends, beer in hand, gets the night started.This serves a way to organize the people that will be rolling with you. Now is the time to decide if someone is going to be the DD, if you'll be bikin', or hoofin' it.
Step four. Party
You start really drinking, your volume has increased and your inhabitions are decreasing. Everyone is your friend, and the womens are looking hotter and hotter with each swig.
Step five. Pull out that game
Now that you are all intoxicated, kissing/flirting with the girls seems like the best thing to do. Dancing, flirting, and a drunken makeout. You still have most of your wits about you, and your confidence is flying high.
Step six. Drunken athletics
Depending on who you are, this is the point where all that drunken energy and possibly sexual frustration are coming out. Releases for this include frisbee, boxing, swimming, flipcup, beer pong, wrestling and if you are from Eureka (or had too much tequilla) you start talking s**t to the guy that you believe offended you honor, which usually results in a fight.
Step seven. Really drunk
Kegstands, laps, shots of 151, or other such rediculessness, are encouraged by friends and the alcohol. Taking care of a puking friend is very possible at this step or any thereafter. Your pick up lines have degenerated into "we should makeout", which if the woman is at this step, works. Making out is sloppy, wet, and involves lots of groping. Drunk dialing is now very much a possibility.
Step seven. More booze
Your bottle is empty, kegs are tapped and everything seems really hard and really easy at the same time. You now realize that you only have half an hour to get more booze: You immediately grab your people and leave. If you somehow have more alcohol, you are now waving it around like a scepter as you tromp down the street, trying to finish it before getting to the alcohol store.
Step 8. FOOD!
A Dennys run is now of paramount importance. Price is not an option, and you are not below pointing to the picture and jabbering at a waiter to order. You are the loudest group in the resteraunt, until the food comes, at which point all are quite; thuroghly enjoying the greasy food as you all wolf it down. The meal usually ends with a concoction of all condiments and food that is at hand, and betting the drunkest person to drink it.
Step 9. Destruction
As you stumble home, waving your scepterof intoxication, you think you and your friendsbecome very intent on adding to your sigh collection, or at least breaking something. You feel like a ninja under the cover of darkness, pissing and destroying in the most public of places.
Step ten. Post game
Its about 300 in the mourning, a few have passed out, and a select group is still going. The activitys that transpire next arecompletely dependent on the gender of the remaining soldiers: If it is only the guys left standing, finish off the remaining alcohol, no matter how much, is the best way to prove manlyness. If it is mixed company, the dice, spin the bottle, strip poker, or other means of hooking up are usually brought out, with both genders being very into kissing/taking off clothes. The alcohol is finished, your voice is horse, passed out friends are ******** with, and loud sloppy sex happens at this point.
Step 11. End
You now need a wall to stay standing and, if you are smart, you are chugging water, while fighting the urge to sleep on the oh so comfortable floor. The sun is rising, and the inevitable dred of tomarrowhits everyone still awake. Beds are found and a sleep comes quickly, except for those brave enough to pull an all nighter.
Step 12. Hangover
Recovery/Completeing the loop Waking up is very hard even at 100. A huge hangover breakfast, a disgusting poop, lots of water, a shower, and maybe an uncomfortable goodbye, slowly get accomplished in order to get rid of the hangover. A trip to the beach, or some sort of athletic event help get you ready to go back to Step 1.
 Scratch and Sniff · Wed Dec 14, 2005 @ 12:27pm · 2 Comments |
