"It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end. "
"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer."
"What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue: Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your present circumstances seems more likely, consider yourself lucky that it won't be troubling you much longer. "
"Today must be a Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays. "
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ...
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Love doesn't always heal wounds. Strength doesn't always assure victory. Denial doesn't always prevent the inevitable. But revenge is always sweet to the bitter.”
Everyday I think people can't get any stupider, and everyday I'm proven horribly wrong.”
Friendship is like peeing your pants,
everyone can see it,
But only you can feel the true warmth.
Destroy is such a strong word! I prefer ‘redecorated for free’.”
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
"If Tylenol, Duck Tape, and a Band Aid can't fix it, then you have a serious problem."
"Always remember- when a guy sweeps you off you're feet, he is in the perfect position to drop you on your a**."
"A wise man once said, "I don't know - go ask a woman."
"A good friend will bail you out of jail. Your best friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying 'That was freakin awesome!'"
"If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?"
"Help I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet"
"No one is a virgin, the world screws us all."
"It takes 42 muscles to frown and only four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me."
"I ran into my ex the other day... Put in reverse, AND HIT HIM AGAIN!"
"Success comes before work... only in the dictionary."
"Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are okay, you're it."
"My mother told me not to talk to strangers. I never talk to myself anymore."
"Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them."
"I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
"I laugh in the face of danger then I hide till it goes away."
"Some people are like slinkys, they're not much to look at, but you can't help but smile when they fall down the stairs..."
"Today I got lost on the road of life." -Kakashi Hatake
"There are only stupid people around me, but they mean well."-Hiei
"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people aren't following me!"
"When life gives you lemons make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how the heck you did it."
"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems."
"You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!"
"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same"
"I'm an angel! Honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo up straight!"
"I'm just here to chew bubble gum and kick a**...and I'm outta bubble gum." - Seto Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh)
"You know, I once read that in a fortune cookie." - Seto Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh)
"You know perfectly well what the rules are and you've erased them all and written up new ones."
"Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away... he hates that."
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car."
"I am not crazy! You know what! The voices don't like u anymore!"
"Stupid kills, unfortunately not fast enough"
"I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory"
"There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't"
"Don't think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey"
"Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject"
"They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?"
"Just be yourself everyone else is taken."
"Strength is no more than how well you hide your pain."
"Drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts."
"I'll send you to the deepest pits of Hell, and while you're there, you can lick the Devil's a**, Incognito!" - Alucard
"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage (Mythbusters)
'I once shot a man just to watch him die...but I got distracted and missed it.'
"A good friend will keep you secrets when you ask them too. A true friend will keep their mouths shut without you asking them."
"You know you're crazy when you know the Men in white by name."
"Who ever said nothing was impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door."
"Last night I played a blank tape at full blast, the mime next door when nuts."
A friend tries to help you when you get hurt, a true friends sits there laughing their a** off saying, 'Dude, you're an idiot!'
A friend helps you up when you fall; a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain; a best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"
A friend wipes your tears when your rejected; a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"
A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"
"When you're blue, a good friend will ask what's wrong. A true friend will try to dislodge what's chocking you."
When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry b*****d who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well
Again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy a**.
9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;
'because you are my friend'.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. _ Homer Simpson
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Your mama is so fat, when she sings, its over.
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." albert enisteine
OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO
A repair shop:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Taiana Hanama Community Member 
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