Seven hours of wasted time, I fell asleep again. When I woke up, it was already ten in the evening. I rolled my eyes, wishing it was just part of a dream. But it wasn't. It was really past ten in the evening and I missed dinner again! Two days ago, like this very experience happened and I slept for six hours, went crazy because I still got a homework in History due the next day, the very first block and I still haven't started even a single word. Actually, I already had brainstorm what to write but writing isn't really my thing. I always end up receiving low grades on essays, the grammars and relationship of what you wrote, especially vocabulary. I sucked at those.
Today is suppose to be my mother's birthday and I was going to give her a surprise birthday present but I ended up staring at nothing. The day had passed already yet a single gift wasn't given to her. I felt bad for being an irresponsible and dependent daughter. Why can I be so weak? I don't know what to do but always rely on others, especially my mother.
It is sad that I didn't even give her something for her fortieth birthday. I even planned like sneaking into her bag and put ten bucks inside an envelope to be given as her gift from me. or a birthday card with a bunch of envelope so that every she opens the envelope, she'll end up opening another one then another one until she gives up. or when she arrive from work, we will great her a happy birthday with streamers on the wall.
But everything was just stupid. When I arrived home from school, it was me who had been surprised by her. She didn't go to work. So, plan canceled. For the birthday card, I didn't have much time to prepare one because I ended up sleeping and sleeping until I get fat already. And the ten bucks, I decided it was just a waste of money. Actually, grief arouse in me and that is confidential. I don't want to talk about it. It just make things worse. So I ended up giving her nothing.
