On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Because I'm totally going to listen to that when I'm sleep walking)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(Now where did I leave those damn X-ray glasses?)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(What makes this soap so special?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But I like mine fresh from the box!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Thanks for the warning! Next time, I'll remember not to read anything you guys write!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Then how does it become cold?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(So I should strip them off?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(Well, I suppose 6-year-old Junior is going to have to wait until after the medicine has worn off before I let him drive the car.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(Nasty side effect, I suppose.)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(But adults are okay.)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(Damn, I was hoping to use them elsewhere!)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(And the other use would be?)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(That's it? I was hoping for a bit more than that.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(If they were hoping to prevent us from identifying the idiots when they wrote this, they forgot that idiots will have to look at the directions again for the second part.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(No comment.)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Then how does Superman do it?)
Raia Arimary · Sun Apr 19, 2009 @ 01:16am · 1 Comments
