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what to do with myself. I know I'm setting myself up for disaster with Rais again. I love him so much though. I don't care about what he's done in the past. I love him regardless. God, I'm ******** crying my eyes out so bad right now because I don't know what to ******** do. I want to be with him so ******** bad but I don't know if that's what he wants. I mean it seems like it, but who knows with him. Like one minute he's super concerned about me then the next it's like I'm not even there. Ugh!! I don't know what to do!!! He's the only person I've ever truly loved with every part of my being... Without him I was miserable and I mean since I moved back in with him I've been a lot happier, but this is just another added stress. I know he cares about me, and I know I need to talk to him about how I feel because I don't think he realizes how attached to him I am still. Just what if he is over me. I mean he can still care about me and not love me right? God, that's what's bugging me the most. what if he doesn't love me anymore? What if he never loved me in the first place. It's hard to tell with him. God... I think my brain is going to explode.