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Pain and Sadness
Is it possible, That for just one day, My family goes with out fighting and yelling. My Step-dad is an a*****e. It pisses me off, the way he acts. I really want to cry right now. My mom is talking about moving out and finding a place to live because of the way he acts. I wonder if either of them has ever stopped to think, "Hmm, I wonder how the fighting will effect our kids."

I swear since the horrible thing my little sister did last semester happened, The fighting from everyone, Even her and I, has gotten hostile. It's so bad, That I try to find ways to stay away from home longer. i ask my teachers if I can stay with them for a while at the school. I try to stay for Book club, I try to do anything that will keep me away from the house.

When A normal Person walks through the front door of their house, Most of the time the know to expect a welcoming feeling. When I walk through the front door of my house, I Expect to Have the weight of the Tension hanging on my shoulders.

In My mind's eye, One day I believe that the fighting will get so bad, That When I get home rom school, I can picture my mother having all our stuff packed into the car and pulling us with her. Away from the place I have called Home for about 10 years now.

I have made my mother cry many times by telling her that When i'm old enough, I want to leave as soon as possible. I'll buy apartments and dorms when i go to college just so i won't have to go home. I have told her that I can't stand living in a place so full of tension and that when the bus topps the hill and the house comes into sight... I could be the most bubbly person in the world, but as soon as I see the house, My heart fills with Sadness, and the happy feelings disperse.

It fills my heart with Pain and my eyes with tears When I think about this, But it's the way I feel, and the way I will feel until i'm finally able to leave.
____________________________________________________________

I don't belong here, we gotta move on dear
Escape from this afterlife
'Cause this time I'm right to move on and on
Far away from here

A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain
Can leave this place but refrain, 'cause we've been waiting for you
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste
Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway
-- "Afterlife" Avenge sevenfold

I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
--"All That I've Got" The Used


Sinful Fool
Community Member
  • [06/01/13 09:15pm]
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