well, my friendship with Meisha and Emily sure didn't last long ...
then again it lasted longer than I thought I would.
I suppose now that one of the reasons why I have deppression is because I always lose someone, I mean not them dieing but by socialization...
I know it was a good thing for me to have stepped in and had a help in hand with there conflict with Ryan. I feel so much calmer and better about it. Maybe the reason why I had my experience in the sixth grade was so that it can prepare me for this particular conflict between my friends. I'm not quite sure Ryan really understands though on what I mean by them having Misscomunication between them... Its so childish
I told Ryan, not Emily that I feel like a teacher right now, trying not to side with someone but also trying not to seem like the bad teacher.
I am sure that I haven't totally lost them as friends but knowing my luck our friendship wont ever be the same. I tried to stay out of the conflict but nothing was really happening. They both were acting like children. which is weird because I am alot younger then them. I suppose I also feel like Nephi. How he had to be the example to his older brothers. Except in my situation I am the one trying to two people from hating each other.
Sundays will never be the same any more... I am quite sure of it... It won't stop me from going, cause luckily I have other friends in the singles ward besides those guys.
I also suppose that my other problem was that I trusted them too mcuh. I depended much on them. I should have seen the warnings. even my dad told me to be careful... I don't think I will tell him about this... this is one thing that will remain secret.
I have a hard life but there are so many good things that overcome those bad times.
I have learned that I must pick my self up and not go into totall depression.
I am trying to come closer unto God and Christ so that way I can be like job and all those other guys in the scriptures.
a song that had popped into my head is one of my favorite hymns
it is called
Come Onto Jesus:
Come unto jesus, ye heavy laden, care worn and fainting by sin oppressed. He'll safely guide you unto that haven Where all who trust him may rest may rest.
come unto jesus; He'll ever heed you, Though in the darkness you've gon astray. His love will find you and gently lead you from darkest night into day to day
Come unto jesus; He'll surly hear you, if you in meekness plead for his love. Oh, know you not that angels are near you from brightest mansions above above?
Come unto jesus from every nation, from every land and isle of the sea Unto the high and lowly in station Ever he calls, "Come to me, to me."
This song always makes me feel better when I am down. It reminds me that no matter how sad or lonley I may feel on a particular day, I can always kneel down and pray(in a secluded area) and tell my father in heaven and elder brother all my troubles and fears. And they will hear me and give me comfort. even if Its something I really wasn't looking for.
I know that something better will come along. Its just so hard to lose things.
cry neutral
moraifa Community Member 
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