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What am I supposed to do when every night it's a different nightmare, a different dream...vivid, real. They leave me exhausted when I wake up and tossing and turning in bed. I've told my parents and I've told my friends but they don't understand how deep it goes. How the pain moves through me like in my dreams, how I wake up shaking and with my eyes wide open. Not even in the safety of my parents bed am I safe from these dreams of fire, bending metal, honking horns, steep cliffs, and broken bones. Each night an inch, a moment, closer to death. My parents think it's my weight, my hormones even. That I can't sleep because of all these problems...but I know that it's something deeper than that. Only when I'm exhausted, do I sleep at all. And even then it's a sleep that doesn't extend to far. I'm beginning to feel week now, beginning to loose strength in the day time. And is there really anything I can do about it?
I've had these nightmares since I was little. And I don't know why. I don't have any bad memories...my life has been perfect for as long as I can remember. I've never been in a car accident, never looked down the side of a cliff. I've never even broken a bone or sprained an ankle. I'm sheltered and overweight because of it. And yet I still have these vivid, gut renching dreams. Where I'm running and the very world around me changes. I don't eat much, and I sleep a lot even a bit peacefully during the weekends just like everyon else. I like being active buy my parents have kept me inside the house for most of my life. I feel lost and tired. I want them to stop and my parents belive me when I say that it's not a metical problem...It has to be something else.
 Rapta · Wed Feb 11, 2009 @ 03:05am · 1 Comments |
