To: Sennyo: Happy 2 1/2 Birthday, Sennyo. Forgive me, I was to wish you a happy two and one half birthday three weeks and one day ago. I'm so sorry, please forgive me!
To: Sennyo: Happy Christmas, Sennyo! It's been almost a year since you've been gone. I'm not so sure if I want to leave so soon, I'll leave you too your immortality for now, I think. Anyway, my best wishes to your health. Forgive me, for being late. Happy Christmas. The loneliness lessons with each passing day, just as the memories that we shared become more painful to meet.
To: Sennyo: Happy New Year, Sennyo. Another year has passed, my first without you written through my fingers to lead.
1/7/09
I finally had a decent conversation. It was with Red Blank, Victory, and Phony Suspicion. I shall from this day forward refer to PS as M, simply that, I no longer suspect her. We spoke of Nostradamus, the Mayans, the winter solstice of the year 2012, religion (the Christian one implied), and the hipocrisies of those that are religious (Christians mainly) who aren't true to their faith. It was nice. A relief to just talk without giggles of silly, ridiculous things that I get from those personality-devoid people at that school.
The six of us, what has come to be of our 'group', our 'clique' at that social-meeting/youth group that I and other neighbourhood residents attend to once a week for two hours, we went outside and huddled in a circle to stay warm. And he, the Ice Warrior, was to my right, Red Blank to me left, Victory to her left, Glass to her's, and then M to his left/to the right of Ice Warrior. Anyway, we put our arms around the back/waist of the person to our right and left to stay warm and for laughs. Sometime before we got into staying warm, it was just myself and M to Ice's sides, he had put his hand to my far upper left arm near the shoulder, about the same with M, and squeezed/bear hugged us near him. I...I had thought it awkward at first, but, it felt nice.. Being held like that, it could've been anyone I suppose. He's such a nice guy. He held me the same way when we did our group hug. He let me borrow a tape, the type that you put into a VCR, of the episode he had appeared on TV, it was really nice. Before the actual episode was another recording, of Ice Warrior in a competition of some sort, he did two routines with two different outifts, they were both very amazing. He's such a nice guy, I'm not worthy of even affiliating with him. I feel my heart reaching out to his as he had once to me. I always, always, realize things far too late, and react far too late as well. However, due to me hedgehog heart, I'll only draw back, away from him, should he return the reach and try to grasp it.
Forgive me.
[End Log]
The denial of reality[/color:080c5c5e2e]
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Living in a fantasy world[/color:080c5c5e2e][/align:080c5c5e2e]
