Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Ever felt like you're being pulled
Each pin clipped into your skin
Like a hook
Pulling at you form a thousand different angles
All pointing to a different direction
All death if not chosen
All hatred if chosen

It's a deeper pain
One no human could describe
Not even in words
Or paint, my dearest
It's more than emotional
It's physical
Mental
Social
It's going to be the death of me

Nobody should hold on this long
Why can't everyone just move on?
They deserve so much more than me;
One of whom will not share the compassion.
I'm sick and tired of trying so hard
Of holding up after everyone
Of pulling the pieces of the puzzle together
And protecting my fortress of friends

I'm tired,
And I am now in pain.
Hell, I have been.
It's sickening, waiting for change
And it's grueling, straining for life
And there are the days
Where I can only curl up into a ball and cry
Cry my hearts out
Until I pass out.

There will always be more tears.

I'm exhausted
There's to much to do
Especially for one human
Being pulled by different hooks
Tearing at me
And the moment I forget to care for one
They pull and tug at my flesh
Tearing a another wound,
Yet still there. Still there.

I don't want to have to try so hard anymore
I simply want to forgive an forget
Possibly, leave it all behind
To run away, like it's my own new beginning
Because they just don’t understand...
And they never will.