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Just certain things.
Rantings and Ramblings
" -Just kindof talking to myself on paper. "
DIGITALized... ;3


My life?
I don't know what I'm going to be. Its kindof a huge topic, i mean, Ofcorse it is. And it will be. Your career defines the way you'll live your adualthood.
But.... Theres just too many things to be! I lust the feeling of being Important, so my fathers told to be part of the Government.
:l
But I hate lawyers, I couldnt sit hours on end Writing and serving snotty, bitchass Bosses and Higher positioned Workers.

So thats kindof out of the question. I love to write, but i don't have determination So that kills the lifestyle of a writer.

I can draw, and I'm pretty great. With half talent an all. And mabey, with more talent placed upon my shoulders from learning under a Master artsman in an Art school I could be utterly Flawless at something for once.

Another Problem to that Though. Theres plenty of modern day picassos out there, mabey people who are even better then him, But simply. Artists have no real use. A time ago people didnt need to have their passion to have use to the economy or such and Then; Artists thrived. But now, us artistic people are in No-Man's land.
:C
Good-bye dream.
e -e

I like the ocean, and it fascinates me more then writing, drawing, and learning combined. But thats probley what draws me to the ocean and it's creatures.. The secret and unknown thrill it holds. We've, as a human race and scientists, have only been and explored 1% of the ocean's floors. Theres so many unknown species and organisms that thrive down in the deep crevices and blackened waters of the oceans, and Some probley have been there sense the prehistoric times! And even more could send our minds to go on the fritz by the way they look or how they live. In a way, Defy our imaginations. Out live our craziest pictures of what a animal or fish could look like.
- Just talking about the ocean gets me all excited and amazed. I'd LOVE to be an oceanographer. To dive down in tiny cramped technolicgenic submarines and push the limit and go deep, deep, deep, far into the black abyss type waters. To go so far down, i'd get lost in the silent and scarily wonderful and great dark majestic creation. So far i'd loose the thought of what a Sky was, the stress of land, I dream to go so deep into the depths that the claustrophobic feeling was comforting. It fascinates my Logic to picture a human being so deep in the ocean's mysterious blackness to the point that the length from the surface of the ocean the where that human is could equal up to New York City straight to the tip of Texas at the Gulf Coast. To be so Alone, so far away from ANY other thoughts or intelligence of a thing. To look thru my 15 inch glass front shield and see Black, and remember I'm accually in that unknown abyss. I'm so close to the true mystery and opportunity to Learn something so great, To mabey be the first person Ever to witness and Discover a certain type of unknown secret. That. Thats what i want to be Famous for. I want to be known forever, across every tongue, every nation, every state or division. Across the human race, I want to be that person who changed how we thought. How we pictured what really occurs and happens behind the mystery. I know theres something so drastic, and even frightening to the core of a soul down there. Something disturbing, because of the fact it defies our minds functions. I believe there truely is. Giant squid? The dead ones that have washed up onto beaches around the world would probly look like New born babies compared to the True, Real, Giant. Squid. And theres likely to be sharks that mystify the thought of recognition. I have utter faith about it all. And I want to be that Person... I want to open the way peoples' Minds think. The way they reconize things. I want to show people how small they are, and How big and wonderful the place they live is. And. I want them to always remember that because of my famous Unbelieveable Discovery.

.........

*deep breath*

*smile* ...Gosh.

But anyway. Its so hard, and next to impossible to accually do that. U have to have enough money to feed your Own studies and investigations. And enough money to accualy fund ur research in and by the sea/ ocean.
There isnt an real company that truelly is about discovering. Most and all are scienctificly boring. They just do mathematic science. And boring paper research. None barely go out and research on hand. Face to face. Like I desire to do.

So n'Eh.... i have doubts about that fantasy. *cry*

D:

I want to eat something very fattening right now :C
Surger heart

^ 3^

Uhm. Subject change. ---
o -o

Onto meh SOCIAL life. *dramatic music*

------------------------------------
- distration -
FINISH IN A BIT.*
( This might be finished in a week or something. I'm very repeatative on NOT finishing things, so yeah o -<" )

Post Permanent Link forcing myself 2b social · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 06:32am · 28 Comments
forcing myself 2b social
Community Member
forcing myself 2b social
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  • User Comments: [28]
    ok rant back time ;D

    yeah i have always had a problem with deciding on a career because im very indecisive. I used to want to make video games but then i put out a self oath not to make them because my imigination would make something amazing and it would make the world even more fat. I have always been very interested in criminal justice, like detective or something among L's job. I think i would be great at it. I already know you have to have a bachelors degree to get into the FBI, So im going to have to study hard in school for a scholarship. Hmmmm i also have always been very interested in the unknown. Like cryptozoology which is the study of unknown or undiscovored animals. Ahhh which just inspired me! Imigination is the greatest power. its only limited by you. Not even money can buy imigination. AHH i feel like writing poetry! hmmm giant squids? I believe there is a scientist who found some eggs of a giant squid and he's trying to grow them from scratch. So far nothing. But it takes many years for them to fully grow anyway. Jayne you could definitly be something amazing knowing you! and well if money is an option i will do anything to help you, i promise ^ ^

     
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    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 06:59am
    ahhhh and if you wanna learn about something that will make you think and will blow your mind, learn about the 10 dimensions! crazy stuff right there. very interesting too :0

     
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    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 07:11am
    What in the world is the Ten Dimensions? O .o

    And thank you for offering ^ .^

    >About the money thing* o -o

     
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    comment forcing myself 2b social · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 07:14am
    wtf! i just left a huge comment about the dimensions! its gone D':

    ok nevermind jayne delete this comment :b

     
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    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 07:27am
    well i can only explain it a lil

    1st dimension = length

    2nd dimension= length+width

    3rd dimension= length+width+depth the one we live in

    4th dimension= i think its like time like if we lived in the 4th we would be a long worm like creature that started out as a cell and grew into an old man but its all physically connected.

    5th dimension= like erm i thinks its like going back into time

    6th dimension= going into the future i think?

    7 forgot

    8 forgot

    9th dimension= All the galaxies possible in one universe, every possibilty ever.

    10th dimension= (the crazy one) all the universes possible! basically anything, EVER POSSIBLE. like in other unviverses laws would be different like the speed of sound could be much faster then the speed of light, just stuff like that, or like gravity might not even be a law.

    i really would help you ^ ^ i owe you muchly

     
    Offline
    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 07:28am
    I uber, uber, loober tired, so that all really just confused me, and made me depressed for some reason

    e .e

    I got to sneeze...But i cant D:
    Random* > -<

    I truely feel ur over thinking me. ^ ^
    I havent done anything really wonderful. Honestly.

     
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    comment forcing myself 2b social · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 07:35am
    i made you depressed! NUUUUUUU D':

    its kinda alot to take in at once

    im not overthinking you! your the best thing since masterbation! Just you being alive is enough wonderful to me

     
    Offline
    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 07:41am
    Lolz.

    I.... sopose. I guess x3

    xB

     
    Offline
    comment forcing myself 2b social · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 07:48am
    omg can i ask of a favor!? :B ?

     
    Offline
    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 07:51am
    O ____________ O


    Sure?

    > D<

     
    Offline
    comment forcing myself 2b social · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 07:53am
    can i has abi art? o____o?

    sadly only thing i can pay you with is gold or oral sex D:

    I rock at oral sex! well fer females idk bout for a guy........ omg i just threw up in my mouth! stupid mental picture!

    we wont go into how i know im good at oral sex <___<

     
    Offline
    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 08:00am
    I drew my Signature in my Photoshop. Is that good?

    Becuase i cant do any better than that.

    Whell, I draw like a demon on paper > 3<

    So theres also that option. :0

    I charge gold depending on what u want.
    Photoshop or paper, Head shot, all body, color, no colour, diff. color outline, ect.

    :3

    Its ok, i understand, A boy gets curious whether or not he can give good oral, and hes alone ....

    LMAO xD

     
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    comment forcing myself 2b social · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 08:04am
    lol it doesnt matter what ever you feel like :b

    OMG you just cracked me up! actually it involved me losing a bet to a girl who's name starts with an L, no more details. but seriously that was great XD

     
    Offline
    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 08:08am
    Alright then ^ .^

    PSH.

    I wonder who or what that cud have been about. xD

     
    Offline
    comment forcing myself 2b social · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 08:12am
    its one of those things you gotta try least once! ;D still a virgin sadly D;
    if i tried i coulda got me some! but things didnt work out so i would be regretting it now <:0

     
    Offline
    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 08:16am
    Whut in the world did u do? o -o

    Don't have sex On a whim :0

    Its more then sex, Yah no. U merge with that person and your souls intertwine. Thats why poeple who have sex with tons of strangers feel so empty inside :0

    I only did such.. things... with meh Xion curs... He had gave me a ring.. and promised to marry me, so I never really had unpledged sex
    x3

    random... rant > __ >"

     
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    comment forcing myself 2b social · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 08:21am
    she wasnt a sum stranger! i liked her uber much, like tons, it was almost like we was dating. we were so close to dating and now all thats ruined thnx to her D: and we were married for fake thx to tyler lolz

    its fine thats totally understandable :] if we ended up together i would never hold that up against you ya know? haha but you wont have to worry about that ^ ^

     
    Offline
    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 08:26am
    U would be willing to intertwine ur soul with her?

    Thats what gets me.. I'm not scared of the sex part xD
    But knowing, I'm really GIVING that person Me. Its like, a huge, odd feeling > >

    Thanks. ^ .^?

     
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    comment forcing myself 2b social · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 08:34am
    well i would have at the time but not no mores.....

    yeah that makes sense to me

    lol our welcome i guess?

    i need to take a shower! which i will do when i get off gaia :b

     
    Offline
    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 08:36am
    I sopose i could have post-decisions that i think about like that too. xD

    But nothing uber exterem. Lek seckz :l

    Atleast someone understands what i mean when i say that :0

    Lemme think.... I took a shower.... Yesterday. So i'm gunna take one tomarrow :U
    Or i guess thats today x3

     
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    comment forcing myself 2b social · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 08:41am
    haha jayne if i remember correctly you were quite the horn dog! ;D

    lol still i never had sex :b i really liked that girl, i guess you could even say loved.

    Haha thats just that bond we have :3

    lol i think its been about 2 days since i had one, and i desperatley need one D:

     
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    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 08:46am
    I dont get horny that easily > 3>

    lolz.

    I think i cursed you D:

    D<

    I take showers every off and on day <3

    I took one Sunday, i didnt today .. or monday, and Today i'm gunna take one x3

     
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    comment forcing myself 2b social · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 08:50am
    uh huh......... thats not what i remember ;D

    how would you have cursed me? the bond thing or the girl leading me on? even if you did you were worth it ^ ^

    i usually do but i get lazy and forget

    i got on and off habit from my grandma, but usually i wait like 2 days cuz my hair

     
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    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 08:55am
    Whell I did
    o:

    And ur insane to think that D:

    I got the habit from myself > 3<

    I dont smell bad, like ever. O -o
    I really never get B.O. er anything. I always just take a shower for meh hair :0

    And i love soft, soft hair > D<
    And my hair is always silky and soft up to like a week, but i like to keep my self refreshed.

    Its impossible to forgot for meh D:
    I have nothing better to do honestly. :l

     
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    comment forcing myself 2b social · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 09:02am
    well i guess i kinda am insane :b but w/e i'd do it again anyday

    i hate when my hair is all soft and poofy! it pisses me off! cuz my hair is like insanely thick D:

     
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    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 09:06am
    Omfg! I love it when my hairs like that x333

    Its so sexy when i guys got soft hair. That way u have an excuse to put your hands thru his hair <3

     
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    comment forcing myself 2b social · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 09:09am
    lol when mines like that i straighten the hell out of it! no matter how long it takes!

    haha you just a touchy feely kinda girl huh?

     
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    comment Good Ol Nostalgia · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 09:12am
    All i am is Touchy-feelie D:

    But i'm a very pyschical person as much as i am emotional :3

    I would choose a hug over an "I love you" any day <:J

    ....... *sigh* ; _;



    ~ I'm tired, so I'm not gunna comment back again here xD

     
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    comment forcing myself 2b social · Community Member · Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 09:19am
    User Comments: [28]
     
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