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Heart to heart


PristineRose
Community Member
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I had a good day today. But it's like, with the setting of the sun, the dark mood sets in. All these thoughts are floating in my head. And I'm thinking too much again. I'm feeling quite heavy.

1) I'm a bad daughter. I know I am. My mom is right. I am selfish when it comes to family. I don't do anything for them except cause them trouble. I'm disobedient and make them worry. I get what I want yet I ask for more. They say come home at 7pm (which is quite late) yet I still push it. They give me money, yet I don't do anything but eat and sleep. I barely talk to them. I love them yet I always hurt them and stuff. And even though I know this, I know I'll still do this shiet.

I promised myself to make the most of my life. To pursue what I want, whatever makes me happy, whatever that can engrave a memory that i can look back on and smile. I want that more than anything. I gave away my childhood to obedience. I look back and see nothing. I don't want that. But how selfish will I be? Will I disregard how my parents feel? I don't know. I'm near the prime of my life. I'm really unwilling to let things by pass me again.

I need to get my own place, some freedom. It's hard when I don't got money and are dependent on my parents. I'll pay them back though. Ten folds. When they get older, I'll be there for them like they were there for me.

I hope everything works out well. And that I'll know what to do.





 
 
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