Its a simple question that, I'm sure, every one has asked themselves at one point of their lives. "Who am I?" Well... I don't know the answer, but you might. Ask yourself that... "Who am I?"
The main reason I'm posting this thread is because the past few days I have been browsing in the Life Help forums and I see a lot of problems that can be fixed so easily. The answer is right there, yet they can't see it. I want to give them advice! Teen years are vary difficult and I know that as a teen myself. I'm only 14 and I may not know everything, but I lived threw thick and thin... and guess what? I'm still alive. Don't ever think that when something bad happens that its the end for you because it isn't.
When I started my teen years I also had no clue how to deal with these problems, but unfortunately back then I took anti-depressants and they blinded me from the world and numbed my emotions to the point I was just a shell. But something happened when I was thirteen. I was gone the day before because I wasn't feeling well, but when I came back the next day I was told something that completely changed my point of view. One of my best friends that I always hung out with before told me these stories about how his mom would do these horrible things to him and still did. I had no idea what to do. After that he became so depressed to the point that all he would do is sit against the wall holding his legs against his chest and hide his head in his arms. Every day I tried to get him to feel better, but it seemed hopeless at first. As time past I had learned and pushed my luck. I didn't leave his side. Not for a moment. I received these new emotions, and I was being taken off of my meds. Finally one day I was able to reach out to him and he actually listened to my words. After that he got better and he became more attached to me. Our friendship grew stronger. I'm in 9th grade and that boy is now my boyfriend.
Do you get my message in my story? Well, if you didn't I'll tell you. I never gave up on him. Even though at the time it seemed impossible to help him, I push onward. I fought back just to reach out to him and show him that it wasn't the end. And because I showed that act of kindness I got something in return. A new life and a closer friend. So don't give up! But in the end I couldn't help but wounder... Who am I?
Guess what? I still don't know. This is an question I was just recently asked earlier today. Sadly I cannot answer it now. Right now in this part of my life is the darkest. I keep having these panic attacks and they have caused a lot of depression and mental damage. I've become a slight agoraphobic* (*That means I'm afraid to leave my house and I'm afraid of the world it self.*) I have been given blood pressure medicine to reduce the chances of panic attack and they've been helping, but they can't fix my mental state of mind.This whole past weekend I felt like I can't go on. It felt as if I would die in the next few minutes or I would fall asleep and never wake up. It felt like the future would be impossible to live in. I'm afraid to move along. But today I woke up with a calm mind... a little p***k of hope. Today I realized I need to move onward even if I'm afraid of the future and the world its self. Even though I have this mountain sized problem right in front of me, I'm not going to let it stop me from where I wish to go. I'm choosing to move along and I'm hoping on my long journey I'll finally realize and know who I am.
I telling you guys this. All the emo, broken, lost, and confused people... remember what I'm telling you. Do what I'm doing. Choose to be strong and move forward even when all your hope is gone and you think there is no possible way to continue. Tell some one your problems. Tell your friends, mom, dad, or just people on Gaia or someone you love because you're not alone. I know how hard it is, but you can do it. Believe in yourself.
Think of others too. If you know some one that is suffering and needs some one help. Help them. Stay by their side... Show an act of kindness.
Never give in and find enough strength to move along!
"There's a feeling you get once you've fallen as low as you can... a moment of true clarity. When you reach that point, it changes everything. You realize you've come to love the things you've hated." - Kyoko from Fruits Basket Manga
"We're searching for a reason of existence. With our own strength, because maybe the truth is that there's no reason for life from the very beginning. Everyone hopes and tries so hard to find a reason of existence. The reason of birth, of staying with someone, of existence, believing we have to find them all with our own hands. Like finding a place for ourselves in dreams, in jobs, in people. The reasons we conclude may be indefinite and fragile. We may lose it too, but even so, we want a reason. As long as I'm alive, I want it too. If possible, I want to find a reason of existence within a person, within someone." -Toru Honda from Fruits Basket.
-Katelynn Wallace
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ChiMeister Community Member 
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