So it used to not be so bad... I mean, yea it was bad, but I was immature and found stupid ways to go about doing things. This being, when he went away I'd lean on somebody else and get to really know them. I'd be around them so much that I'd just sort of grow attached and maybe like them, but not entirely.
Well, the fact that I not only know that I'm in love with the most brilliant guy in the world is the fact that I've realized that I am. That and the part that I've ditched all of my guy friends because they are honest to God pricks.
But, I am so tormented now. I have no one to talk to when he is away... Or barely anybody. I go through my week only speaking to those whom I see at school. When I come home I'm all alone again... And my thoughts get to me and make me think about crazy things that I know could never be true. So, I change my thought path and I realize how much I miss him when he's gone.
I don't know what he's thinking, what he's saying, where he is, who he's with, what he's doing... I'd just like to know. When he's away from me, does he think about me and wonder the same things I do? Does he realize how much it bothers me? I wonder if it bothers him just as much?
Oh, dear... I do not know. I will probably never know. Perhaps I shall just be glad that I have him and nobody else does. For I know that he loves me more then anyone else could muster up.
And I love him too.
So, so much.
