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im not the average 13 year old girl
i show a smiling face,
a slight giggle here and there.
i try my best to seem cheerful.
but in reality,
im sick and tired of the god damn lies.
im sick and tired of those glances and hate filled gazes shot at me.
i no longer can fake the glee filled expression i wear every day.
not long ago,
i would cry.
just about every day because of the glares and remarks spoken of me.
i hated it.
i hated myself.
i manipulated myself to the point of believing it was ALL my fault.
now that i have opened my eyes
i see it wasnt,
i dont hate myself,
i hate them.
let them glare.
let them talk.
my eyeliner no longer runs black tears.
my hands no longer grasp the sleeves of my jacket.
im not the person i used to be.
I am ruthless.
who said my fists shall speak for me?
when i seek revenge,
i find ways for that person to be the cause of their own downfall.
insecure?
maybe.
underestimated?
of course.
unneccisary?
no. i believed i was but im not.
love is just another way to say murder scene,
a reputation is just another sorry excuse that hopeless bitches use to manipulate others.
death no longer phases me,
losing people has just become an everyday thing.
a funeral is a gorgeous ceremony.
a wedding is the most depressing.
love is an emotion that means nothing to me now.
i love no one.
i love nothing.
all i need are my friends.
nobody and nothing else.
let those other bitches and bastards talk s**t. ~