Dear Diary,
I've figured it out.
With my current health condition, I should be in bed. However much I wish it would, insomnia does not stop for any sickness. The body aches and screams for sleep, yet the mind will not rest.
Timeline:
-Kira appears. That was certainly worth the panic.
-I am given the investigation. An intriguing case at last.
-Raye Penbar's death and Naomi Misora's disappearance. Unfortunate losses. They were good agents.
-Monitoring of the Yamagi household. Raito's perfection was unreal.
-Raito under suspicion. He was too poised.
-Confronting Raito. He might have been Kira.
-Befriending Raito. I might have been obsessed.
-Meeting and apprehending Misa-Misa. I do recall feelings of... "jealousy" when I saw her with Raito.
-Raito's confinement. I passed out twice and slept only three times in four weeks. And whenever I looked in to Raito's eyes...
-Raito's release and 24/7 surveillance. The first few weeks were interesting. Especially the first shower when-
I shall stop. "Befriending Raito" is when this feeling began. Has friendship made me weak and my thoughts unintelligible? No, these are not the results of friendship. This feeling... I have read of it before. Ah, I know: Jane Eyre. Although I enjoyed the book at an intellectual level, I think I am beginning to understand its emotional meaning. Unconventional love blossoms when both characters least expect it. A love that is ignored, buried... my love that is misunderstood even by myself.
He was on my mind, in my mind for so many months. This feeling has been so new and so fresh, and I... I have been inexperienced. I have not understood until now. Yet that is no excuse. I cannot wither in self-denial any longer. I have come to my final conclusion.
I am in love with Yagami Raito.
L
