It took a long time for me to start believing-
I knew it was my time for the first to start 'leaving'
Promising me somewhat I wanted to stay.
But it was finally time to push those feelings away.
And spend time where it needed to be spent.
And forget all that was said- like it was never meant.
Never let it bug me anymore.
It didn't matter what happened before.
I wanted to live in what I denied ideal-
Now I must find a place only I knew was real.
I wanted so much more time to heal.
And maybe have more time.
To spend hours on the mountains I was suppose to climb.
With so many more people I hoped to climb up with.
Now I know those times are myth.
I hoped to find love- but it had found me.
In a chained heart I soon hope to set free.
But I know what I wanted to talk out couldn't help at all.
I knew that if it hurt or not- I would take the fall.
And learn what I hadn't thought about.
Even if the feeling of 'incompleteness' was something I couldn't live without.
I knew if I burned all what reminded me of what was suppose to go away-
I would still feel that empty spot even in a better day.
I don't want to remember 'those times' where I was young.
Where my head held high- but now it's hung.
What times where those? And know I know I can really forget them all.
Where I don't have to erase their names from my wall.
Because I won't remember them enough to know.
I have so much more time to grow.
And finally forget what doesn't matter anymore.
There was a time all those special 'spaces' in my soul use to live and glow.
'But that was a long time ago.'
