I've never advertised a person before, so here's my first of several attempts to [hence the number after X], since I'm pretty sure it'll be horrible, but I'll get better over time (hopefully)
-=The X Factor=-
You're sweating profusely, you can't sleep, you twist and turn, you start feeling numb.
It could have been something you caught from your undercover lover, but we'll keep that between sheets. The only other explanation could only be what scientists can only identify as the X-Factor. This has been traced to one source:

Being within a 5-mile radius of this thing.
Common symptoms:
*Watery Eyes
*a**l Leakage
*Flooding of the inbox
*Comment box revolution
*Spycams in your house
If any of the above symptoms persist for one or more weeks, you have [became lazy again].
You're sweating profusely, you can't sleep, you twist and turn, you start feeling numb.
It could have been something you caught from your undercover lover, but we'll keep that between sheets. The only other explanation could only be what scientists can only identify as the X-Factor. This has been traced to one source:

Being within a 5-mile radius of this thing.
Common symptoms:
*Watery Eyes
*a**l Leakage
*Flooding of the inbox
*Comment box revolution
*Spycams in your house
If any of the above symptoms persist for one or more weeks, you have [became lazy again].
------
That's it, really, still a work in progress, I'm favoring this one more though as of now.
Also, the disease may need a cooler name than the "X-Factor".