I'm not the one who's so far away
When I feel the snake bite enter my veins.
Never did I wanna be here again,
And I don't remember why I came.
Candles raise my desire,
Why I'm so far away.
No more meaning to my life,
No more reason to stay.
Freezing, feeling,
Breathe in, breathe in...
I'm coming back again...
I'm not the one who's so far away
When I feel the snake bite enter my veins.
Never did I wanna be here again,
And I don't remember why I came.
Hazing clouds rain on my head,
Empty thoughts fill my ears.
Find my shape by the moonlight,
Why my thoughts aren't so clear.
Demons dreaming,
Breathe in, breathe in...
I'm coming back again...
I'm not the one who's so far away
When I feel the snake bite enter my veins.
Never did I wanna be here again,
And I don't remember why I came.
Voodoo, voodoo,
voodoo, voodoo.
Voodoo, voodoo,
voodoo, voodoo.
So far away...
I'm not the one who's so far away...
I'm not the one who's so far away...
I'm not the one who's so far away...
I snuck out of the smokey bar,my meaning of being in there was held tightly in my shaking hands as I slid down the dark streets of Newark.
The white powder was held securely in it's small plastic bag. I held onto it for dear life,my hand sweating because of it.
I turned sharply into the first alley I came to. I slid helplessly down the wall of whatever building I was beside.
Cold sweat ran down my head as it pounded with each and every beat of my empty heart. My face was pail from vomiting half the day away.
A mere day and the withdrawal was killing me,if I wasn't already doing that. I shakily crawled deeper into the alley.
After getting far enough back I pulled out the small package that held my life in it's deathly grip. I took out a pop-can base,a lighter,and a needle.
With shaky hands, I dumped the powder into the pop-can base,miraculously not spilling a thing as I picked up the lighter.
I lit the lighter under the base and watched for what seemed forever as the powder became liquid in a far too long amount of time.
I put the lighter away and picked up the needle,trying and failing at steadying my hands. I put the needles tip into the dark liquid and watched as it disappeared into the needle.
I pulled up my sleeve,revealing the many puncture wounds and old puncture wound's scabs that dotted my once perfect skin.
I pushed the needle into my skin and released the disgusting liquid into my veins. In less than a minute the shaking calmed and I fell slightly limp on the ground.
This wasn't supposed to happen. Never did I want to be here again and I don't remember why I came
Many of the things in my life weren't supposed to happen.
I was supposed to be happy.
I was supposed to be living a great life.
That's what he promised.
He said he wouldn't leave.
But he did.
And I suffered.
He was famous now,happy. He had been where I was now,minus the needle and the prostitution.
He'd been messed up;a drunk and on drugs. He had been right where I was,only much less worse.
He'd had no needle.
He'd had no prostitution.
He'd been able to get away.
And I'd helped him out of it.
But he was getting more and more famous after that. And I knew the truth-Gerard Way would soon have no need for me.
I had been sober and pure back then. I'd had sex with only him,because I was so sure we'd be together for as long as life would let us.
But he got bigger and better and I knew that if I didn't leave,that it would only hurt worse when he pushed me away.
So I took up where I 'd helped him leave off.
I was the one with problems.
The drugs.
The shame.
The life that wasn't fully there.
But I was so much worse.
He'd had me and all of My Chemical Romance and his family to help him.
I had nothing. My friends of MCR were big and I was little.
My family had shunned me away when I started dating the 'dark,drunk,and drugged out rocker boy'
Back then,when they disowned me,I was okay with it. I had what I needed.
Friends,love,and hope.
But it all faded.
I helped Gerard through his time of need. And I thought we'd make it.
We couldn't.
He didn't leave me and I didn't leave him. Not officially.
But I couldn't handle being pushed away when it did come to that. He was too good for me and I knew it,so I left.
Without a word I left and this is where I ended up:in an alley in Newark- alone, depressed, and so drugged up I can't see straight without being in withdrawal,and then I'm just as bad.
My droopy eyes shot wide open as voices filled the alley,laughing and joking. I realized it was the next morning. God,how my life was withering away.
I stood shakily only to fall back as my legs cramped and locked,making me slam into trash cans and boxes from the store I stood by.
The voices stopped and I panicked. I picked up the needle and the pop-can base and shoved them into my pocket.
I stayed still as footsteps entered the alley.
'Are you okay there?' a voice asked and I calmed.
It was just another silly hallucination that the heroin made. I had them all the time. Besides,why would Gerard Way be back in Newark.
But my heart stopped and I paled even more when the hallucinations eyes met mine and filled with pure shock. No hallucination could mimic those beautiful eyes.
'Skyler?' Gerard questioned,his tone unreadable in my state.
I swallowed hard,trying to gain a breath,but I ended up just shaking my head,as if he would believe me.
My perfect blue eyes,even tainted with sorrow and hurt could not be mistaken.
I noticed he wasn't alone,all of the band was with him,but I focused on him. Even with his new blond hair I knew him perfectly.
'What happened to you? How could you get like this?' He asked as sadness filled his eyes and voice. I shook my head rapidly,my eyes shut tight.
A sharp sob broke from my throat and I gasped for air. I collapsed to my knees and wrapped my arms around my body and shook my head more.
'It wasn't supposed to be this way.' I mumble over and over,my voice weak from never ever talking.
'Sky.' Gerard choked out of his sob choked throat. He fell to his knees in front me and grabbed my body tight.
I cried hard into his shoulder as he rocked me. The guys had tears in their eyes. I felt myself shake;not even ten hours and I was in withdrawal.
'Don't leave me again.' Gerard begged into my ear.
'What else was I supposed to do?' My sratchy voice pleaded back.
'Why did you leave?' Frank spoke up.
'I didn't know what else to do,you-you were all getting famous and I felt out-out of place.' My mind wasn't working fully and I was stuttering and choking on my sobs.
'You can't leave again. We were all so worried.' Mikey choked out.
Gerard stood and held me up easily,I was too skinny. I couldn't eat or sleep right.
I knew the guys had seen my arms and I felt like running. But I couldn't,not again.
I grabbed Gerard's neck tightly and he squeezed my waist.
'Please,' I begged,'Please help me.' I whispered as loud as I could,he just nodded as he kissed my cheek and then cried into my neck with me.
Yay.
Half Bak3d Cashew Community Member 
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