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Well I am not in the greatest moods lately. Everything keeps on changing. I broke up with my boyfriend because all he ever talked about was sex. All that I want so to is have someone love me...will I ever find that again. I don't understand why people can't see that. I don't want to have sex until I am for sure in love and being loved. Of course no one is ever like that anymore...maybe I will never find that but you never know I just might. I am tring to get some money for Josh to come down here. I really want to get him down here...I am doing everything that I can to get him down here. I want him to be happy...I also want to be feeling safe. Whenever I talk with Josh I finally feel like I am loved for more then just my sexual side. I care so much for him...I wonder if I will be able to be loved. He is such a great person and I care a lot for him. I can't really talk to my friends as much as I use to. I can barely open up to anyone other then Josh. I havn't been able to talk to him lately. So everything has been building up and driving me even more crazy. My mom drove me crazy by saying that I was going to be in trouble for something that I didn't even do...something that wasn't even my fault. It was so stupid. I'm afraid that all of my life is going to mess up and everything that is going right is going to fall asleep. Like always. I've been really sick lately and mom thinks that it is because I'm depressed. I really don't think so but you never know. After all I'm a dork and everthing that seems weird to you is a day to day thing with me. *shrugs* oh well who cares. whee

Well I'm now a little hyper! I don't really want to be hyper right now so I'll deal with it later.

I'll write it all later.