Also, at walmart earlier, I was mad at myself and was kind of taking it out on my mom. I know we have money problems. My mom knows too. She just chooses to ignore them. It makes me so frustrated. She goes around buying things that we don't necessarily need, which includes a LOT of stuff for Tessa (who has enough summer clothes), and not a lot for me and Katie, even though I think I have a whole 3 or 4 pairs of shorts. Anyhow, my mom was offering to buy me some, but I just kept saying no. And she kept pressing me, but I ended up being kind of a jerk. I apologized though, but I still feel bad.
And my aunt makes me sick. I can't stand her. I wish she would just get locked up in prison for life (which could happen, because I personally think she's going to go back to stealing, which means when she gets caught, we'll be getting more collect phone calls from prison...) She causes SO MANY FREAKING PROBLEMS!!
Whatever. I just wish I could erase her out of my life, and re-write the parts she messed up. But life just isn't like that; there's no way we could go back and fix stuff like that. And even though I wrote this, I still don't feel much better.
It also doesn't help that I'm convinced that my dad wants nothing to do with me most of the time. I think he only wants to be around me and Katie when he's bored. I called him a few times one weekend to see if he was wanted to take me driving, but he didn't answer. Typical of him. And the sad thing part is that I though he might actually answer. I had a little bit of hope in me, and he crushed it.
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Bombers (first verse and chorus) by Yellowcard
This is the deepest cut I,
Think I have ever felt,
These are the things I think but I will never tell.
I'm trying to walk these bridges,
Burning beneath my feet,
Well I am an echo I am heard but never seen.
These are your hearts,
Like bombs they're coming down,
They're falling on me now.
And this my last try,
Got one thing left to prove,
There's a bomber in me too.
Think I have ever felt,
These are the things I think but I will never tell.
I'm trying to walk these bridges,
Burning beneath my feet,
Well I am an echo I am heard but never seen.
These are your hearts,
Like bombs they're coming down,
They're falling on me now.
And this my last try,
Got one thing left to prove,
There's a bomber in me too.
