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The things I should have said when we had a chance, I said too late. Everything I felt, everything I thought, was of him. All the words I was too afraid to say when I loved him, they just come so easily when those feelings are dead. I figured I'd let him know though. I needed it off my chest, out of my head.
I shiver just thinking about him. I feel sick to my stomach. I know why. He's nothing but bad news. I felt better, I felt fine for a while. I was getting my life together. Then boom, now I'm ******** up. To a lesser extent, but still. I just feel so damn..blegh.
I can't feel something for him ever again. I'm not going to put myself through all that s**t again. I'm saving myself the pain. I'm saving my sanity.
What brings me back to peace is when I think of Ryan. He's someone I relate to on almost everything. We just click. It has nothing to do with our interests either. It's purely our personalities. I'm a pale gothy girl, he's a rock and roll kid. And he's a counsler at a summer camp. I mean, I hate kids with a passion, but I can't help but think it's cute.
He's very laid back. But when we talk about us, he makes it a point to tell me I'm the person he wants. He loves me. He's not sappy about it...like I am (hey, girls get like that sometimes) but he lets me know he loves me often. :3
"Don't Go
I thought I'd never tell
But it's something
that you should know
I've got no secrets, I give myself away
I've got no secrets, and I give my whole existance to you
Get so damaged, watch me slip away
I get so damaged, cause my whole existance
Was you"
-Schizoid
 Refined Corruption · Tue Aug 16, 2005 @ 04:47pm · 1 Comments |
