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under.the.knife.of.not.being.a.perfection

status nothin but you,
people dn't care alot
whn they are happy.
i love to be a ghost
., everybody walks past you
dosn't seem to take notice
that your there..,
,.look at me
im writing all s**t bout me.
life living its worth while
doin sumthin.
then nearly ending your life
to a complete stupid overall of love.
but sumtimes you wish it ddn't
turn out to be the end.
what is the next step
of my life .,?
sadly nothin cuz i wish i ddn't exist
right now...
badluck is in me, i hate but
again i love makes me feel
down, depressed and calm.
just like a drug oozing you down.. -.-
life isn't perfect
so why are we still here
being treated like a piece of s**t.

one thing f u c k
you to the people who thnk they adore
there life.
wish u people all die. plastic f u c k e rs!


f u c k s to all but
one i adore to hate
and thrash by my gravel stone.,
bringing him back to life.
again isn't much a welcome
to my home..,
UN HOME SWEET HOME..
seems to not understand
what i am in.,
i go spactic as h e l l.!
chuck me into a silent room
whr thr is no space for me to escape.,,
let me explode my
erotic screams, till my lungs are
bursting out.
leftovers of me are on the
floor. thats how much i hate you....

im afriad to be
alone....
let me hide myself.
in a box whr nobdy cannot find me.
let me peace and live thr,
im bttr off being alone.
i thnk im not ready
to step out and
overcome my heart ache.
just my mind
with a empty book and a pen.
let me expose how much
pain i am in. but
with words expressing it.


my fwends cheer me up
when there is no sunlight to shine
upon my gloomy mess.
they courage me to hold
their hand no matter whats goin
to happen..,next
they make my tears evaporate
and go away.
giving me one special hug
is all i want from them, to make
me feel better at times
whn i am feeling down.
whenever i am unhappy for
some sake of a reason.
they appear to be here starigth away
when i am needed.
i call that a true friend of mine.

they turn my frown into a smile
of laughter and cracks.
repeat of me saying this to you
iloveyou.


two worlds alike.
reverse from their lover's direction.,.
loosing time by sand.,
doin its best to keep in touch.
not giving up.,.
not enough love to keep holding us up.,.
confessions and heart brakes.
dull and depressed.,
confused with sadness combined with angrish.
hurtful not seeing you.., again.
can't help making a flood of tears
fall to the ground.,
... not loosing you,
place yourself in the corner,. wondering
will this be the end.,.?
thinking through some last things, should i do it... ?.,.
all i can say

" i love the old times.... "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" don't worry bout me,
there's no me in tomorrow.. "

only kno my fwends
don't relise im pretending to be happy
for them... but thn
again i am lying. im not
feelin happy at all.



life isn't much a perfect dream.,
people wish they had the best life.,
proceding over and over again they wish they could but never does instead they cry just for it to happen, afterall.,
feelings blending with emotions is pleasanlty gloomy to react,. all the sudden
you recap of thnking of the bad things tht happened in your life. and evn more
you feel bad foryourslf asking why did tht happn and hoping tht will fade away not to
be remebered, pleadging for no more nightmares by it.,
screaming and hearing from your family members
aren't they way to start it off everyday.,
u wanna say sumthin to them just to let it peace., but u cn't.
u just stare and watch while the world goes past., til the end of the day
whn everyone is calm in their bed to go to sleep.,
staring at the night sky outisde your house., wanted to be alone for
a few minutes.,
dazzing for few hours trying to erase everything tht happn in a 24 hour day.,
hoping tomorrow will be ok.,

"i love to be alone at night standing on the roof or anywhere where my family can't find me, secret base where only you can be happy there.
tht is my real life, not happy at all. people image my family as rich and fine well behaved kinds. but not really we just fight fight, last family hangout was 3 years ago. everybody is living thier own in my family. i just cry for no reason...."
"i love being aloner and not be cared cause i am use to it."
" the only family i thnk to myself is my 1st brother and all my best fwends"
"one person i wish would die is my mum, we nvr clickd togther, she like my evil step mum giving orders or else.... u get it. last love effection to her i gave was 8 or 7 years old. and i will never regret the things she done to me. and im planning a way to kill her whn she gradually gets older."


Post Permanent Link  · Sun May 04, 2008 @ 04:37am · 0 Comments

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