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I keep thinking of getting away...everytime I close my eyes I see another place...everytime I look into the skies or around at everyone around me I see it...and I feel aweful because I know I shouldn't...and I REALLY have a great life...but...I...I just don't feel right here...and although I know they care...I still feel alone...it's really killing me cuz I feel so guilty...plus I just keep thinking about my past and that always wants to make me cry...I think about how just about EVERY guy I have ever liked has either hated me or just...not liked me...and then about Zach...in my sophmore year we were in English and the teacher somehow got on the subject of love and he leaned over and told me "you'll never have that"...I know it's not true but...sometimes I wonder...and then I just want to get away...cuz if no one is around, no one can hurt me stare sweatdrop wow...I'm pathetic aren't I...but I don't want to lie about how I feel in my journal...and I honestly feel alone... sweatdrop