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Ok peoples, it is your favorite b***h on Gaia :] Anna! -twirls- Well anyways peoples, I just had the biggest melt down yesterday @_@. I need Cheyenne to help me get through the day and well she isn't here so yeah, I just went BOOM! I miss my boyfriend like hell, that's a given, it really is, I put my all into my relationship with him and even when people told me stuff like "He's ugly" "He's fat" "Your too good for him" "I'll treat you better than he does" etc., I stuck by his side, 'cause I really did love him. But whatever he brokeded my heart so i've been a little out of my mind lol....well more than a little, trust me, fighting with yourself is not easy at all, makes you want to scream and blow your brains out to just end the mental frustration and the fact that you put so much work into something that got ruined so easily makes you wanna kill yourself too. I planned to make him an Easter Basket, take him on a Picnic, I wanted to go the anime con with him...yeah I'm a dumbass, I fell in love to quick and I pushed a relationship that I knew wasn't going to work anyways, I'll just have to remember not to fall in love again, it will ruin me one day, I'm not sure how you guys do it. I'm extremely depressed, the kind that makes you wanna commit suicide. I'm not going to because I'm too lazy to slit my wrist but whatever. I could always over dose on pills...let me not give myself any ideas lol. To the point, I got mad and yelled at everyone in the house then went to my room slammed the door and cried til I fell asleep. Mom was drunk, her boyfriend was drunk, and the kids were pissing me off, I couldn't take it, i really wanted to kill them all but I didn't have an weapons near by. Just the thought of watching their blood splatter all over the walls makes me smile inside a bit. I've never been this insane before, I'm not sure what's wrong with me, I wanna cry, kill myself, kill other people lol. Oh Well, I'll move on some day :]
Peace Babez!
Peprika~
 Peprika · Thu Mar 20, 2008 @ 12:06am · 1 Comments |
