-Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas!
-Of course I'm out of my mind, it's dark and scary in there!
-Ever stop to think...and forget to start again?
-Don't talk to me when I'm talking to myself!
-You say psycho like its a bad thing
-I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now
-Some days it just isn't worth chewing through the straps
-I'm not in the mood to be stared at.
-Three out of four voices in my head said I should stay home and clean the guns.
-If you're happy and you know it see a shrink
-P.M.S ?!! Hell, this is one of my better days!!
-I break for faeries, elves, gnomes, leprechauns, and other invisible creatures that only I can see.
-Your just jealous because the voices talk to me.
-I used to listen to the voices in my head, but I ran out of places to hide the bodies.
-Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you
-The good thing about schizophrenia is you never run out of people to talk to.
-Go ahead and honk. I'm reloading.
-Hold on before you pass, I'm reloading.
-Sniper: Don't bother running, you'll only die tired.
-Rehab is for Quitters
-God made pot, man made beer, who do you trust?
-Don't Drink and Drive, You might spill some
-Hell yes I'm drunk! what do you think I am, a stunt driver?
-Milk sucks, got beer? (for Malick fans ((but mostly for Sakura)) Milk sux got Malick)
-1 Tequila 2 Tequila 3 Tequila Floor
-If I am swerving, I dropped my beer.
-I don't have an eating problem, I eat, I get fat, NO PROBLEM!
-I am in shape! Round is a shape...
-I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
-If my dog had a face as ugly as your's, I would shave his a** and teach him to walk backwards!
-I need someone really bad, are you really bad?
-Never fight ugly people they have nothing to loose
-I'm the fat lady and I ain't singin s**t!
-Learn from your parent's mistakes - use birth control
-Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
-If you can't feed'em don't breed'em.
-100,000,000 sperm cells... and YOU were the fastest?
-Men: No shirt, no service Women: No shirt, no charge
-If a couple divorce in Kentucky, are they still brother and sister?
-My Father was inmate of the month at Folsom State Prison
-Fight Crime. Shoot back!
-Drugs are for those who can't handle reality. Reality is for those who can't roleplay.
-I don't believe in violence, so don't make me kill you
-Don't steal. The government hates competition.
-Warning: Trespassers Will Be Shot - Survivors Will Be Prosecuted
-Please don't hit me -- My lawyer's in jail.
-Drugs support terrorism. Cigarette money supports the government. Cigarettes are drugs. The government supports terrorism!
-My road to success is under construction
-Won't it be nice when schools get all the money they need and the Air Force has to have a bake sale to buy a bomber?
-Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of it's students.
-Oh, no, not another learning experience.
-Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be Evil.
-English ain't doin me no good
-They can send me to college but they can't make me think.
-Your kid is an honor student. NOW SHUT UP!
-Honk if you hate bumper jokes.
-Honk if you are stupid enough to actually read the backs of people's cars and then do what it tells you to do.
-Horn broken. Watch for finger.
-Honk if you love Hanson, then drive straight into a tree!
-Honk if you haven't had sex with Bill Clinton
-Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
-This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
-I'm out of bed, what more do you want?
-I've run out of sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
-Hard work has a future payoff, but laziness pays off now
-Join the Army: Visit exotic places, meet interesting people and then kill them
-The only difference between prison and work is that in work there's no bars on the cells
-I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
-Do they ever shut up on your planet?
-Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
-Auntie Em. Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
-Don't trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die.
-When I die I want them to bury me upside down so the world can kiss my a**.
-Don't make me use my pepper spray, dork!
-It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.
-Do NOT start with me - you will not win.
-I wish I was Barbie - That b***h has everything!
-I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.
-Do what you did when you were a kid: fly a kite, go fishing, hunt a dinosaur
-Never Underestimate The Power Of Stupid People In Large Groups
-DAM : Mothers Against Dislexia
-You call me a b***h, as if it were a bad thing!
-Why do we kill people who kill people just to show people killing people is wrong?
-If you can't beat 'em, arrange to have them beaten.
-Save The Giant Flying Vampire Toads
-Mommy, what were trees like?
-Vegetarian: Primitive word for lousy hunter.
-The ozone layer, or cheese whiz... Ah choices...
-If Vegetarians eat Vegetables, what do Humanitarians eat?
-It's your hell ..... you burn in it!
-when you talk to god your religious… when god talks to you your crazy
-God huh? My imaginary friend's name is BoBo.
-Jesus is coming, look busy!
-We have a deal: God doesn't tell me how to run my life and I don't tell him how to run the universe.
-God is coming and she is pissed.
-JESUS SAVES... But Iginla gets the rebound, he shoots, he SCORES!!
-Suicide is a way of telling God 'you can't fire me, I QUIT!'
-I have nothing against god, it's his followers that I can't stand
-God is perfect, man is not. Man made beer and God made pot.
-Isis, Isis, RA, RA, RA!
-The last time we mixed religion and politics people were burned at the stake.
-GO TO HELL.....say hi to my friends.
-My God carries a hammer, and your God died nailed to a cross... Any questions?
-If your nice to me, I'll put in a good word for you down there.
-Of course you're faster, but I'm driving in front of you.
-If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
-I drive the speed limit. If you don't like it call a cop!
-Bumper to bumper, butt to butt, get off my a** you crazy nut.
-The closer you get the slower I go.
-Too Close for Missiles, Switching to Guns
-If you can read this, you're two seconds from an a** whoopin!
-Yes it's fast and no you can't drive it
-CHEVROLET- Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
-I'll get off my cell phone when you pry it from my cold dead fingers!
-Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?
-Hey idiot, hang up! You are driving a car, not a phone booth.
-If you don't like my driving, stay off the footpath.
-If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!
-Why am I the only person on earth that knows how to drive?
-Forget about world peace... visualize using your turn signal.
-As a matter of fact, I DO own the road.
-Hang up and drive
-Beam me to work Scotty, this traffic sucks.
-Don't like my driving? Dial 1-800-eat-s**t
-I drive this way just to piss you off.
-<----Passing Side / Suicide---->
-Stop reading my bumper stickers and pay attention to the road!
-To hell with the dog, beware of the owner
-If a Blonde throws a pin at you RUN, shes got a hand grenade in her mouth!
-If your not blonde, why do you act like it?
Akimoto_Sachiko Community Member 
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...the chickens steal my sanity
Community Member