I really do.
This sucks, and I hate it so much.
I dont know what to do,
and I'm confused as all hell.
I dont know whos telling the truth,
and whos telling lies.
I wish it was as simple as putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger...
But that doesn't help them.
It only helps me.
And that's not what I want.
I'm wandering in the dark,
with three lights...
on opposite ends of the room.
If I choose to follow the first,
I can turn back,
Back to the lies,
the hatred,
and the abuse that i might deserve.
If I go toward the second...
I could be with the one I love...
where people care...
but live in fear of hurting them...
or worse...
If I go toward the third...
I can head toward somewhere I barely remember
but what I can remember...
was it was warrm...
accepting,
like a family,
but...I'd live in fear of it shattering,
and I'd never see my love again...
So I wait,
trying to think this through...
I sit alone in the dark...
waiting for a signal,
a ray of hope,
a sign...
I sit in the cold dark,
wondering what to do...
I'm scared,
and afraid...
and I dont want to be here...
not now...
not ever.
