So I guess it's been two days since I have last been on, huh? Or maybe two days since my last journal entry, or quite possibly both. Well...I'm just gonna say that well...I'm bored and rather annoyied with the up comming school year. Having a few random worries and regrets, those sort of things.
Anyway, moving on. Lately, well...actually for the entirety of the summer (just about) I've been noticing my odd behavior towards food... I swear I'm unconsciously starving myself or something... I've noticed that unlessed pinned down to a seat, blocked in by staring bystanders and random dogs, I only eat one realy meal a day. Now I know this isn't healthy...
I often find myself with annoying headaches (Like right now) that never leave, and random feelings of sleepyness, though that's easily explained with my insomnia...but well... I do get hungry and want to eat...but I just don't seem interested in actually eating. It's hard to explain really. I don't get it much myself.
It's possible I'm suffering from dehydration right now, says my dad. Which he might be right. But...I though I drank water...guess not enough... I really don't know what's wrong with me. It might be a sort of side affect to the way I treated myself two years ago, where I intentionaly starved myself (It's explained in a previous journal entry if anyone really cares)...I never really did seem to recover...but I don't know.
I'm also starting to notice my attitude, emotionaly and mentaly (isn't that the same?) have begun altering, turning towards the worst. I'm begining to be negative and moody once again. I'm often snapping at my brother and dad...even my Dog...but he pisses me off...so....it's explained on that note. But...I just really don't know...
Currently I've got a headache mixedc dwith a slight dizzy feeling and my stomach it growling, yet also feels like it wants to explode. In other words...I feel like I need a trip to the nearest bathroom...but...I don't really need one. It's all so frustrating.
I take pills, but it seems like I've grown an immunity to just about every over the counter medicine there is out there...-sigh- ...It's really bothering me...I want to start getting myself back to normal...but I just can't seem to.
I mean...it's not like I'm morbidly obbese or anything. I'm only a few pounds over my recomended weight with a big, annoying a**...(I keep hearing stupid girls saying "oh I wish I had a butt!" Grr...Butts are grose! What the hell do some of you guys find so interesting about them? I mean...body waste comes out of the crack, there's nothing hot or sexy about that!) and a bit around my thighs and lower stomach (Don't have rolls) But yeah...So there's really no gain from me starving myself...unless someone in my head wants me to turn into a skeleton or something... But...I don't know..I'm so confused and slightly worried about my health... But..I dunno.
May be things will fix themselves later on in the year. I guess I'll just have to wait and see...Well.......yeah...Bye. arrow
 Yanachii · Fri Jul 22, 2005 @ 10:33am · 1 Comments |
